


threats & promises

by mikimooey



Series: Mickey's Umbrellas [5]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019), The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Luther and Vanya are in The Seven, Ben works at Panera Bread, Bisexual Allison Hargreeves, Copious amounts of Spice Girls refrences, F/F, F/M, I blend the two stories together into a mishmash of hell, ITS PART OF THE PLOT DONT @ ME, Just because they arent related in this au doesnt mean i will ship them, M/M, She's Bi, Superheroes are Treated like Celebrities, TW: Dave kinda dies in the beginning, The Boys au, The Others are the Boys, The UA Characters replace some Boys characters, Umbrella Academy but It's The Boys, Vigilantism, i have to change the plot to avoid certain scenes i dont feel comfy writing, not great, which is to say
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-12-24 08:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikimooey/pseuds/mikimooey
Summary: Living in a society where being a superhero is the job to covet is never easy. But for video store employee, Klaus Klein, it’s about to get even worse, when his boyfriend is accidentally run over by the fastest man alive.whoops?Fueled by both anger and grief, Klaus quickly finds himself falling headfirst into the biggest conspiracy in the entire world, something that could destroy everything if anyone figures it out. Led on by his new partner in crime, Diego Reynolds and his weird ass group of vigilantes, Klaus has to figure out whether he avenge his love or destroy his budding friendship with rising superhero, Vanya January, and the world along with it.





	1. you need a hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus is reeling after the death of his boyfriend, Dave, Vanya gets her dream job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a PSA, both Umbrella Academy and the Boys do a fantastic job of turning the conventions of the superhero genre on its head. 
> 
> Both shows have their weak points and both have their strong ones but when it comes to the Boys, it is a violent and gritty show. It’s incredibly good and deserves more recognition but it is also very very dark and edgy, and this is warning to anyone who might be interested in watching it after reading this.
> 
> This fic cuts out many of the most violent and disturbing sections of the Boys because I am more interested in the story it tells rather than the violence. Please make sure that you read up on the things featured in the show before watching. It is rated TV-MA for a reason!
> 
> That being said, I am writing this to scratch an itch that i’ve been having, but i’ll only continue to write it if you guys want to see more (since i had to rewatch both shows to write it hhh)

It’s not like today is supposed to be anything new, right?

Just another day working at his shitty job, helping shitty people fix their stupid technology that they couldn’t be bothered to fix themselves. Klaus Klein had helped a million just like them before, coming in all flustered and sheepish, gripping a phone or television in their hands.

There were two boys in the store at the moment, loudly discussing who would win in a fight, The Deep or Translucent. They browsed the shelves just like so many others before them, not really there to shop, only to have something to occupy their time. Klaus leans away, back against the counter and tunes them out, fiddling with something under the counter, his mind a million miles away.

He barely blinks when gunshots start echoing into the shop, coming from outside. The two customers in his shop do startle though, their youth meaning they haven’t been involved in attacks like these for as long as Klaus has. 

The ghost in the corner flickers angrily at him. Klaus flips her off and digs around in his pocket to pull out a cigarette. He puffs on it as the gunshots get significantly louder, which can only mean that the people responsible are coming closer as well.

The high-pitched scream as a man goes flying through the window is music to Klaus’ ears. The boys back away from the sound, staring at the body fearfully as it tries and fails to stand up.

Silence descends upon the three of them.

Klaus grins at the shell-shocked kids, “Just your average Tuesday around here.”

He lifts the cigarette back up to his mouth, inhaling the fumes with a grin. The body lays inconspicuously on the floor of the video shop, unmoving with a thick puddle of blood forming around it. A couple of feet to the left, Klaus can see the ghost of a man start to rise, looking around blearily.

The boys hightail it out of the store, glancing down at the heap of a body in front of them. Klaus can only shrug when he heads back to his fiddling, watching the doorway for the proper authorities to come collect the corpse.

* * *

The doorbell rings as Klaus absently clicks a nearby button on the cash register. He doesn’t turn to look up at the customer when they come in, but the fleeting grin on his face begins to appear to be permanent. 

“Hey, mister cable man,” says a gentle voice, “Wanna come over to my house and fix my television?”

Klaus bursts into sharp laughter at the line, looking up to meet the eyes of Dave Katz, leaning across the counter in a pose that he probably thought is seductive but only made him look more ridiculous to Klaus.

“That’s the worst pick-up line ever Dave.” Klaus says, beginning to pick his things up from the surrounding area, “What about something a bit more  _ charged?”  _ He places unnecessary emphasis on the last word. Dave blinks at him, unaware of the terrible pun flying over his head. 

“I don’t know about that,” Dave says, stepping out of Klaus’ way as he slides over the counter, waving a short goodbye to his boss seated in the back office. The two of them leave the video store, conversing happily about their plans for the rest of the day.

“Do you want to go see that new Rumor movie?”

“You mean the Rumor Revealed Part 3?”

“I can’t believe you know that, considering how much you despise her.”

“Just because I don’t like her methods doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate her films.”

“That’s dumb.”

“It’s not!”

Dave throws back his head and laughs, wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk, “I feel like you should like someone before you appreciate their movies.”

“I don’t like a lot of actors, doesn’t mean I can’t like their stuff.”

“Whatever, Klaus.”

They walk in silence for a bit before Dave asks, “Did you ask him for the raise?”

“Oh,” Klaus doesn’t stop walking but his head falls a bit, “No I didn’t. We had a robbery down the street earlier and there is a body and shit. He is probably stressed anyways.”

“You should’ve used that as an excuse.” Dave says breezily, moving quicker so he’s walking in front of Klaus, “You always keep your cool! That’s a great selling point!”

Klaus snorts, “I’m just asking him for a raise.I’m not trying to audition for a hero”

“You know you could,” Dave raises his eyebrows, “If you wanted to. You’re gifted, just like they are.”

“What use are ghosts against villains?” Klaus sighs dejectedly, “I already decided not to go into hero business for that reason?”

“Imagine!” Dave is practically skipping now, “My boyfriend! A member of the Seven! Standing besides Spaceboy, The Deep and Translucent.”

“And Rumor,” Klaus’ face twists in disgust, “No thanks.”

“You know this is like when we started dating,” Dave observes, ignoring Klaus’ confused look, “How so?”

“I had to ask  _ you  _ out,” Dave teases, “You just like not putting yourself out there.”

“No, I just don’t want to be dragged into the hero business like Vought does to anyone with powers. I just want to be normal,” Klaus sidesteps a ghost dog wandering down the road. He meets Dave’s knowing gaze, “Well as normal as possible.”

“Come on Klaus! You can see the dead, you know how many people would kill to have a power like that. You should be using it to help people,” Dave pleads with Klaus, who only adamantly shakes his head, “No thanks.”

Dave seems to understand that Klaus has had enough, “Whatever. You can deny it all you want but the fact is we’ll need some money to get us our own place.”

Klaus’ head snaps around to stare at his boyfriend, “Our own place?”

“Of course,” Dave says, arranging himself so that he’s directly in front of Klaus, “We can’t keep drinking ourselves to death at your dad’s place. So I am thinking that-” He’s cut off as Klaus leans in for the kiss, slamming their lips together. They both lean into it, happy and beaming. Eventually they both pull away, staring into each other’s eyes with the warm affection most couples only dream of.

Klaus speaks first, “Dave that sounds-”

Then Dave is gone. Vanished into nothingness, with only a slight whistle to indicate he is there at all. Klaus stares, the world moving in slow-motion as he feels a drip of some liquid on his cheek, then another, then another.

He doesn’t know what it is, but his hair blows in his face.

Once the wind has stopped, Klaus looks at where Dave used to be, bewildered.

He looks left, nothing but then he looks right, spotting the superhero, A-Train, standing dazed in the middle of the street. A-Train flips open his goggles and Klaus realizes in abject horror that A-Train is covered in blood.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, lugging his red bag over his other shoulder and heaving hard, his breaths wheezy, “But I gotta go.”

He’s gone in a flash, leaving Klaus disoriented and even more scared about Dave’s fate.

“Dave?”

There’s something warm in his hands and Klaus’s eyes slowly pan downwards, horror in his face as he realizes that he’s gripping Dave’s hands -and only his hands- in his own.

“ _ Dave? _ ”

Klaus’s lips start to tremble as he comes to the horrified conclusion that the man he’s given his heart to is dead. His voice cracks, “DAVE!”

* * *

Vanya January wakes up to a lovely Sunday morning in her small rural town in the middle of nowhere. The sun beams through her window, shining it’s golden rays upon her and she grumbles into her pillow, unable to rouse herself from her bedroom. Her pillows are just so warm and comfortable that it just seems like a hassle to get up. When she finally does pull herself out from under her covers, her bones creak, all stiff and sore.

She stumbles into the kitchen that she shares with no one, preparing to make herself some eggs. She opens her fridge, ready to pull out the carton of eggs when she has some second thoughts. 

She takes out the bag of frozen Eggos instead, stuffing them into the toaster. Her cat, Spicy, winds its way into the room, mewing gently.

The Eggos pop out of the toaster and Vanya takes them in her mouth, running outside to start her early morning training regime. Spicy mewls after her, irritated that he didn’t get some food.

“Sorry, Spicy!’ She apologizes to her cat, feeling rather silly that she’s doing so, “But I need to keep in shape, just in case I get the call today!”

Spicy only glares, his mind only on his food that isn’t in his bowl.

Vanya waves at him as she heads outside, bee-lining right for the car that she’s set up in the middle of her yard. It’s an old and rusty thing, with a faded blue coat of paint on it. Something no one would care about if it got destroyed or damaged. She places her hands underneath the bumper of the car and let the slow creaky groans of the car echo around her. 

She pulls hard on the sound, running it through her fingers before absorbing it into her gut. The car begins to lift, at first slow but gradually gaining in speed until it’s flipped over on its side. 

“Hey, what did I say about loud noises?” shouts her neighbor over the fence, his voice resigned, “No hero training this early!”

“It’s 10 in the morning, Mr Crenshaw,” Vanya calls back, wiping her oily palms on her jeans, “It’s not that early.”

“It’s early for an old man like me,” he bites back, “When I was younger, I used to be like you, Jan.”

“My name is Vanya.”

“But now, I’m just an old soul who needs his beauty rest. Let me die in peace, hmmm, Jan?”

“It’s, never mind,” Vanya lets this one go. Crenshaw’s been calling her Jan for as long as she can remember. She spins on her heel, ready to flip the car again when her phone floods the air with the familiar guitar of  _ Barracuda. _

She picks it up, heart thumping in her throat, wondering if it was the call she so desired.

_ Hello, Is this the White Violin? _

“Yes this is her,” Vanya answers, beginning to pace back and forth.

_ Great, we were just calling to let you know that you’ve been accepted into the Seven! Please pack your bags and we’ll be at your house within the hour. Make sure you are in full costume and- _

The voice at the other end of the phone doesn’t finish before Vanya quickly slams her hand over the speaker and screeches in pure joy. Her howl of triumph is quickly squandered by the angry protest of Crenshaw. She slams her mouth shut and carefully removes her hand from the phone, her voice deadly quiet as she continues to speak.

“Sorry about that, the connection broke off. I’ll be ready when you get here.” Her heart hammers in her chest when the woman on the other end seems to smile based on her voice.

_ Sure, Welcome to the Seven, Vanya! _

“Thanks for having me,” Vanya replies on instinct, immediately realizing her mistake as her hand clicks the ‘end call’ button.

“Shit that was lame.” She says aloud, almost dropping her phone on the grass. Her hands shake back and forth and she quickly heads inside, ready to begin packing her things.

She’s a part of the Seven now! A dream she’s had for years and it’s finally coming true!

Vanya enters her house with a flourish, practically skipping down the halls to her bedroom to load up her things. Spicy wanders after her mewling pathetically. She picks him up and spins him, ignoring his angry hisses and scrabbling claws. 

She’s never been so happy in her whole life!

* * *

After the funeral, he’s numb. 

He should be fucking pissed, because he is. That after almost three days, Dave’s ghost hasn’t shown up and apologized for leaving Klaus alone. Although deep in the trenches of his mind he already knows.

Dave is gone.

He’s sitting on the couch,  _ their couch _ , all by himself, except for the little girl ghost in the corner that Dave had affectionately nicknamed, “Leech.” His eyes are glued to nothingness, but the sounds of television drift past his ears. 

He can’t bring himself to watch anything that Dave and him had watched together, so he’s stuck on the news channel. Dave hates the news. He calls it the program of lies. Klaus agrees with him.

It’s only the mention of Dave’s name that pulls himself out of his stupor. Klaus blinks back into reality just in time to see A-Train’s face on the television, surrounded by cameras and waving his arm.

Klaus can’t help but watch, transfixed on A-Train’s smooth smile and easy-going features.

_ This man is a murderer. Why is he being praised? Why are they loving him? HE KILLED SOMEONE, isn’t that what a villain does? _

A-Train begins to speak and Klaus finds himself listening to every word this creature is speaking, “Saying this now does not even begin to convey the deep regret I feel for this awful tragic loss. My deepest condolences to the family of Dave Katz. I was chasing two bank robbers and he was standing in the middle of the street and I couldn’t..” He breaks off, seemingly overcome with emotion.

“BULLSHIT,” shouts Klaus, chucking the remote at the screen, “Dave was a step off the goddamn curb!” The ghost girl in the corner flinches at his scream. Klaus sits back down, panting with the exertion of the random burst of energy before slumping back down onto the couch. 

The sound of the mailbox opening and closing is barely comprehended by Klaus as he turns off the television, unable to listen to the lies anymore.

“I guess it really is the program of lies,” He sniffles to himself, pulling himself off of his couch with a bit of effort. He heads to the kitchen, hoping to not run into something that would remind him of Dave, but as soon as he steps over the threshold, he can’t do it anymore.

He goes over to his mailbox, ready to grab something to occupy his time and get his mind off of Dave. Bills… bills.. More bills… wait.

He pulls out a small letter with a signature V imprinted on the seat. Vought International.. The business A-Train works for. He tears into the envelope, greedily searching for any mention of Dave’s name.

_ Dear, Mr Klaus Klein, _

_ We at Vought are so upset at the fate of Dave Katz. We understand your grievances and we want to make sure this transition is as simple as possible. You and Dave were not married, and there’s technically no legal claim, But we here at Vought are suckers for doing the right thing, so we are offering you $45,000 in restitution. All you have to do is sign the attached document and drop it off in our main offices. _

_ Call this number if you have any questions: 373-***-**** _

_ Thank you for your time. _

Klaus, confused why Vought would even contact him about this, pulls out the other document. He begins to read, before setting the paper down and screaming.

When Klaus is done, he picks up the paper and finishes off the reading, angry beyond belief.

“This is literally a confidentiality agreement!” He says to the ghost girl in the corner, who bobs her head sadly, “It’s an NDA!”

He laughs hysterically, carding his hands through his hair, “I can’t talk about it? I have to pretend like one of the world’s greatest super heroes didn’t run over my boyfriend?”

He doesn’t know how he would sound to anyone outside of this room, but as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he cringes at how utterly insane and stupid they sound. At least the ghost girl seems to understand, she shoots him a thumbs up from her corner.

“I’m not signing this,” he says definitely, storming over to the trash can and slamming it in, “I’m not signing jack shit.”

He repeats it, feeling more and more strong, “I’m not signing! JACK SHIT!”

The ghost girl wails at the same time as his scream, and he almost wants to thank her for it, since it distracts him from the fact that he’s just thrown away an NDA for a powerful multi-billion dollar corporation that manages people with powerful abilities that are way stronger than his.

He goes back to his couch to think everything over.

The news is still blaring on, faded into the background again and Klaus loses track of time, staring distantly into the distance. He vaguely recognizes that he’s late for his shift at the video store, but he really couldn’t care less at this point.

Then Vought’s little jingle plays out of television and Klaus snaps back to attention, anxiously wondering if they were going to release anything more about Dave. Maybe this was all some giant misunderstanding, maybe A-Train would get what was coming to him and Dave would be able to find peace.

But that’s not how reality worked and Klaus can hardly believe the words scrolling across his screen.

_ The Seven’s Lamplighter Retires, Welcome New Seven Member, The White Violin! _

The image of a small, sightly girl is on his screen with a sweet smile and a glimmer of light in her eyes that was definitely not natural. Klaus takes her in with a long sip of his Red Bull.

“White Violin,” He mumbles around his can, “If only you knew what kind of people, you just signed your life away to.”

* * *

Vanya still can’t believe she is here. She’s seated in the back of a car, with smooth leather seats that she’d only seen in movies. She’s in full hero gear, dressed in her homemade costume that she’d spent hours painstakingly stitching. The man next to her shifts boredly. He’s probably done this millions of times. 

Vanya smiles to herself, because this is all she’s ever wanted.

To be a hero. To save people. To save the world.

Her speech in her audition tape comes back to her as the door opens to reveal a crowd of people waiting for her-  _ waiting for her-  _ with their cameras and loud demands. Her own words echo through her mind. She had spoken of her dreams and how she was often called naive for just wanting to save the world.

She doesn’t think being optimistic and hopeful are the same as naive.

She steps out of the car to round of applause, a smile dancing on her lips when the chorus of people sings just a bit louder. A woman sidles up beside her, pressing her hand into the crook of Vanya’s elbow and tugging her down the red carpet laid down in front of the Vought Building.

“Hi!” She says as they walk, ignoring all the cries from the mass of people, “I’m The Handler, director of talent relations here at Vought.”

“The Handler?”

“Oh, yes.” The Handler’s smile is a bit strained, “It’s a fun little nickname I got after working here for so long, you know since Mr Hargreeves couldn’t be bothered to actually remember my name.” She chuckles, a bit darkly, “It’s alright though, He’s a busy man!”

“I’m sure,” Vanya says with a bit of sympathy. She knows what it’s like to not be appreciated for her efforts, “Well, I think you’ve done a great job so far.”

The Handler pauses to stare at her, her smile dropping in shock before she composes herself. “Thank you.” The two of them reach a small door in the back of the hall. The Handler opens the door for her before following her inside. Vanya can now hear a voice talking to a crowd of people. It’s a voice any kid dreaming to be where she is right now would recognize.

“Our net income is up almost 16%, our latest film, starring our very own, Rumor, has grossed almost 1.4 billion dollars worldwide, with so many more things like it on the way. The branding opportunities are endless.”

“Alright,” says the Handler, maneuvering Vanya over to the side of the stage, “I know this is very sudden, But Mr Hargreeves is going to announce you up soon to introduce you to the world!” She pats Vanya’s arm with a smile, “Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” She agrees with a smile. The Handler bobs her head and then steps backward into the shadows, already engrossed in another conversation. Vanya can feel a couple of makeup artists begin to touch her face with their brushes and she resists the urge to shy away and instead puts on a brave face. It’s all for her, they’re doing this all for her, they’re doing this all for her.

“We are Vought!,” says Reginald Hargreeves from the stage, “We make heroes. Super.” His voice is easy, calm and all-knowing. Vanya jumps up and down backstage, ready fro him to call her name.

“I have two surprises for you all today!” Reginald calls to the crowd, who falls silent immediately, “The first, a member of the Seven and the Queen of Gossip herself, The Rumor!”

The crowd screams as The Rumor herself walks onto the stage, waving easily as if it’s the most natural thing in the entire world. Her smile is bright and blinding and Vanya can’t help but think that Rumor was meant for the stage. Rumor blows kisses to some members of the audience before moving up to the podium.

“I heard a rumor…” She began, her voice clear and steady as though she’s said these words a million times, “That you all are excited to see the new Seven member!”

The crowd positively roars and Vanya’s already wide smile grows a bit bigger. The Rumor claps her hands together and says, “It is with a heavy heart that I now say that a long-time member of the Seven, Lamplighter, has chosen to retire. Let’s give him a big thank you!”

The crowd screams again as Vanya feels the Handler return to her back, “You’ll head out when Rumor stops talking alright? Wait for my signal.”

Vanya nods, keeping her eyes on the Rumor’s shining face, “As time continues on, I’d like to introduce someone very special.” She waves her hand out to the wings where Vanya is standing, “Please welcome, the newest Seven member, The White Violin!”

The Handler shoves Vanya out into the limelight and for a second, Vanya struggles to find her balance. However she quickly rights herself and walks over to the podium where the Rumor is standing. As soon as she gets there, Rumor hugs her. Her hug is warm and smells like cheesecake. Vanya can’t help but hug her back, excited and half-delirious, because she’s hugging  _ The Rumor.  _

Reginald has snatched up the microphone at some point because Vanya can hear him announcing their superhero names as they turn back to the cheering crowd, waving. 

It’s everything she’s ever wanted.

Vanya cheers and waves just a bit harder.

* * *

The second she and Rumor get off stage, Rumor kicks her heels off. Vanya watches the shoes go sailing into the darkness as Rumor sighs in relief, “God those were suffocating me.”

“I get that,” Vanya says, not really relating because she’s wearing practical flats. Rumor scoffs, pulling her thick hair over her shoulder, “Just you wait, they’ll put you in heels at some point.”

Vanya’s heart drops like a stone, she hates heels. She can barely walk in them, much less fight. Rumor blinks at her, head cocked, “I’m just glad there’s another girl in the Seven. All the guys are just irredeemable shits.” Her nose wrinkles in disgust. Vanya can’t help but wonder how Rumor can make even that look elegant. 

“Even Spaceboy?” She can’t help but ask, because if there’s one thing she does know about Rumor, apart from all the scandals she’s a part of, it’s that the tabloids seem to think she and Spaceboy have a thing.

Rumor gags loudly, covering her mouth with her neatly manicured hand, “You read those trashy magazines?”

“Uh, yea. Everyone does.”

“Luther and I were practically raised together,” Rumor says, “There’s no way I’d ever date him. Besides I’m already dating someone else.”

Vanya raises an eyebrow. The last major scandal Rumor had been caught up involved a massive divorce with her husband, an actor named Patrick and a custody battle over their daughter to last a lifetime. The fact that Rumor’s moved on so quickly is frankly quite bizarre.

“Already?” She asks, as she and Rumor head into the elevator to the Seven’s headquarters, “That was fast. What’s his name?”

“Elena.”

“Oh,” Vanya’s mind tries to wrap around the name, “OH…”

Rumor’s mouth twitches into a smile, “Yea, oh.”

“Well, I didn’t think that..”

“It’s fine, no one does.”

“When did you…”

“Before the divorce.”

“Cool,” squeaks Vanya, “Uh.. Why haven’t you told anyone?”

“I’m not allowed to,” Rumor says, as the elevator doors open and she leads Vanya down a long hallway decorated with all the famous Vought heroes, “Hargreeves doesn’t want me to.”

“That’s fucked,” Vanya says, allowing herself to relax as Rumor snorts, “A bit, yea. Elena says she’s ok with it though, so I don’t protest.”

Rumor stops in front of two massive doors with the letter V etched into them. She waits expectantly for Vanya, meeting her eyes. The two of them stare at each other before Rumor speaks, “When we go in there, just.” She licks her lips, the first sign of nerves she’s displayed the entire time Vanya’s talked with her, “Just don’t let them get to you.”

“Don’t let them get to me?”

“Most of these people are irredeemable shits,” Rumor clarifies again, “They suck. They’ll try to throw you off your game. They’ll try to get in your head. Don’t let them.”

Her hands squeeze Vanya’s shoulders, “I don’t want you bawling in the bathroom on your first day like me, alright?”

Vanya nods, looking into Rumor’s eyes and realizing she’s serious, “You’ve got it.”

* * *

Klaus had no idea why he was at work right now. It’s been a week since Dave had been run over by a superhero whose face was plastered everywhere and Klaus has been doing nothing but trying to summon Dave again. All his seances and ghost boxes and scented candles and crying into Dave’s favorite pillow had done nothing, so in an effort to return to a sense of normalcy, Klaus is now working the midnight shift at the video store.

At least he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.

Except for the ghost of the guy who died in the store on the day Dave was ripped from him.

Life fucking blows.

The door rings as Klaus is staring at a cardboard cutout of A-Train, wondering if it’s possible to rip the cutouts face of without being fired. A clank of very heavy boots echoes on the floor and Klaus looks up to meet the glaring eyes of a very, very angry man. 

“Do you know what kind of video games kids like?” he asks and Klaus blinks, stunned by the immense contradiction between the man and his question.

“Uh…”

The man blinks slowly, “It’s fine if you don’t, but my kid is being annoying lately so I was hoping you would know something to keep him occupied.”

Klaus resists the urge to say, “Awww,” because he’s pretty sure the guy will kick him into next week if he does and instead shrugs, “I’m not too well-versed on what kids like these days.”

“Me neither,” the guy agrees, leaning against the counter a bit, “But the little asshole is hard to shop for anyways, so I’m betting he wouldn’t like whatever I got him anyways.”

The man adjusts himself, not seeming to care that by calling his kid a ‘little asshole,’ he’s just stunned Klaus., “That’s not really why I’m here though.”

“Oh,” Klaus squeaks ,unsure, “Why are you here?”

The man slides a card out across the table, like it explains everything, “I heard what happened to Dave, Klaus.You didn’t take the payout. I could use that.”

The card is imprinted with a familiar sequence of numbers that Klaus never thought he’d ever see in his lifetime. FBI.

“You’re a Fed, uhhh,” Klaus sneaks a peek back down at the card, “Diego?”

Diego nods, pushing the card back into his leather jacket pocket, “We should have a chat, you and me, Klaus Klein.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each of the UA Characters replaces a Boys One, so here is the list in case you were interested.
> 
> Klaus- Hughie Campbell  
Diego- Billy Butcher  
Five/The Boy- Kimiko/The Female  
Ben-Frenchie & MM
> 
> Vanya- Annie January  
Luther- Homelander  
Allison- Queen Maeve  
Reginald/The Handler - Madelyn Stillwell


	2. spice up your life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego and Klaus make a plan to get into Vought, Vanya has a terrible first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT!!
> 
> LET'S GET THIS BALL ROLLING
> 
> I never know what to put here, but thank you all for reading this and giving me feedback, I'm now invested enough to finish this one out!
> 
> Thank you all!

In hindsight, walking off with a stranger that looked like a star from the porn version of the Matrix might’ve not been the best idea Klaus has had in awhile. Granted, he hasn’t been in the right frame of mind for a long time but still. Diego seems nice enough, but Klaus can’t exactly ignore the creepy ghosts floating around him. One can’t really trust any authority nowadays anyways, especially an FBI member.

“Keep up!” Diego says smoothly, trudging through the crowd of people with a sense of purpose. Klaus scurries up besides him, trying to catch a glimpse of his face, “You don’t really look like a Fed.”

“What do I look like then?” Diego replies, not even turning his head to look at Klaus.

Klaus snorts, “You really look like some sort of supervillain.” He pauses, considering Diego’s leather-clad outfit, “Are you?”

“I’m literally in the FBI,” Diego says, his tone serious but a smile tugging at his lips.

Klaus considers that and then shrugs, “To Vought, you’re a villain.”

“Sadly, that’s true.” Diego agrees, side-eyeing him. Klaus meets his stare head-on, determined not to let Diego intimidate him. 

“I have a question.” says Klaus finally as Diego banks around a corner.

“Shoot.”

“Why me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Diego turns down a very seedy looking alley, leaving Klaus in the dust, “You’re in a perfect position to take down Vought.”

“What?” Klaus catches up to Diego when he reaches a small, metal door at the end of the alleyway. Diego turns to look at him with a slight smirk before placing one of his hands on Klaus’s shoulders, “They offered you an NDA right?” $45,000 in retribution?”

“Y-yea?” Klaus stammers, gently prying Diego’s hand off him, “ How did you know?”

“You aren’t the first one they’re offered that too.” Diego leans against the door, not even bothering to open it like he had obviously intending too, “People involved in superhero companies like Vought lose hundreds of people a year due to collateral damage.”

Klaus can’t believe what he’s hearing, he can see one of the ghosts behind Diego snarl angrily into nothingness, “That can’t be right? Everyone would be talking about that. That’s borderline insane.”

Diego rolls his eyes, fingering one of the silver handles in his holster. He doesn’t seem too interested in Klaus’s words, instead he’s more nonchalant, “Sometimes it’ll get mentioned like with Dave, but mostly it’s all right under our noses.”

“Why?” is all Klaus can mange to say, his throat too tight to really speak. All those people. All those ghosts that occupied the streets, all done in by a superhero. A brand of shame burns on his chest. He can talk to the dead. How come he knows nothing about this?

“It’s obvious,” says Diego’s voice, a distant sound in the ocean in Klaus’ head, “Business.” When Klaus looks up at him, he’s looking away, focused on something in the distance. A knife spins around his fingers, “People don’t want to know that their infallible superheroes are just as fucked as the criminals they catch. They like the safety that they give them.”

The knife stops spinning in his hand and he chucks it at a wall in front of them with the words, ‘Moon Man’ painted on them. The knife sails cleanly in the middle of one of the Os, dislodging a bit of concrete.

“I’ll tell you about the shit they get up too, but there’s something I want to show you first.”

He bangs on the door three times quickly, the resounding metallic clang louder in the alleyway than it would’ve been anywhere else. Klaus awkwardly shifts back and forth, wondering if it’s too late to just go home and take the payout. The small door in the top of the door opens.

“Hey Al, just got your message,” chirps Diego, his solemness from seconds ago gone, Can we come in?”

“You know, I should consider this police brutality?” asks the other, face hidden from the dim lighting from the room he’s in, on the other side of the door, “You know what the people here will do to me if they catch me letting a guy like you in?”

“Well,” Diego says, his knife appearing right in his hand again as he glowers at the man, “It’s not half of what I’ll do to you if you don’t.”

Klaus can’t see the man’s face, but he does hear the sharp intake of breath when he spotted the knife. The small door slams shut and then the locks on the thick metal door begin to slide into place with a clicking sound. Klaus tries to peer past Diego to see inside, just before Diego actually walks in.

It’s a bar.

A sleazy, dim lit bar that’s filled to the brim with super powered people doing not so super things.

Klaus can’t look away.

“Keep your jaw up,” Diego murmurs in his ear, ignoring the floating women above them, “Don’t make eye contact.” His hand brushes against Klaus, pulling him along as they trudge towards another door in the back.Even as he’s tugged along, Klaus can’t help but notice that this is the sort of place he would’ve killed to visit before meeting Dave. A place to show off his powers, a place to go nuts and a place to be himself.

Then he spots a familiar face among the throng.

“Holy shit is that Ezekiel? The Capes for Christ guy?” Klaus can barely believe his eyes, so much so that he has to blink several times to comprehend the white-clothed hero being made out with by two guys at one. Dave had always hated that guy for his preachy way of communication and of course..

“Isn’t he like super homophobic?” He asks Diego, using their conjoined hands to gesture at Ezekiel. Diego snorts from his nose, sharply, “He’s deep in the closet. Fucking hypocritcal.”

Klaus wishes Dave was here to see this. Dave would’ve stopped with him to laugh at Ezekiel and call him out on his hate speeches and hypocrisy. But before Klaus could open up his mouth to snarl some hateful words at Ezekiel, he was pulled towards the door in the very back by Diego.

It was at this time that heading into a very sketchy bar with a guy from the FBI might not be the best idea. Klaus tugs on his hand, trying to get out of Diego’s grip but it’s too no avail. Just as his hand begins to slide out from Diego’s, they reach the door.

_ Fuck.  _

It’s just a monitor room back there and Klaus can’t help sighing in relief, since he had been pretty sure that Diego was trying to kill him, even with all the flowery speeches about hating Vought. Diego lets go of Klaus’ hand when they step inside and goes to lean over the computer screens, squinting. Al, the guy who had let them in, is seated at the desk, scowling at Diego and Klaus. Klaus offers him a small wave in return for his putting up with them, but Al only looks less amused by Klaus’s friendly gesture. 

“Cool,” Klaus says, adhering to his tendency to babble when nervous, “Is this like your guys’ torture place? Where you torture annoying jackasses like me for these assholes’ amusement or something?” 

Diego shoots him a confused glance, “Why would I torture you?” He seems genuinely bewildered at that, which isn’t what Klaus would expect from a guy in all leather and covered in knives. The arm of a nearby ghost clips through the wall behind Al’s head. 

“Because I have powers!” Klaus instantly regrets saying that, judging from the startled glance on Diego’s face and Al’s widening eyes. In the back of his mind, Klaus is happy that he’s at least cleared the air with Diego, especially since they’re probably going to be working together, but he still wants to curl up and die.

Diego cocks his head to the side, hand on the dial to his left. He manages to look even more mystified than he had previously, “Why would I torture you for that?”

“Well, you hate Vought so I just assumed.”

“You shouldn’t assume things.”

“Right.. uh. You don’t like Vought and all those guys are superheroes, so I figured by association.”

“I have powers too,” replies Diego a bit too dryly, “Just because I hate Vought doesn’t mean I hate all Supes, that would be just stupid.”

“Oh,” murmurs Klaus, “Wait! You have powers?”

Diego doesn’t seem to be interested in his own words but he does answer Klaus, “ Yea, I’m just one of those Supes who doesn’t flaunt it to the mindless public, At least I’m trying to be an upstanding citizen instead of contributing to the death rate of the population.”

Klaus is utterly bewildered by this turn of events, “But I thought..”

“You thought what? All Supes work for corporations? Nah, some just use their powers to get by. Some of their powers are too awful to use for hero work so they were denied. So they mope around and wallow in pity and don’t do shit when I ask them too.”

Klaus cringes a bit and the screen bursts into life, “That’s too specific to not be true.”

Diego doesn’t answer, too glued to the screen to even acknowledge Klaus’ words. He taps the screen with one of his fingers, “There he is.”

He motions for Klaus to come a bit closer, which he does. Leaning so close to the screen that he can see fog form from the heat of his breath, Klaus can see the faint figure of A-Train crouched on one of the sofas in the bar that they had just passed through. 

Klaus’ fists clenched and he resisted the urge to slam his fist into the screen in a rage. Diego leans over the seat to turn up the volume on the footage, just as another hero wanders over.

“Is this happening now?” Klaus asks, his voice almost unrecognizable to his own ears. His entire body feels like it’s floating up to the ceiling. Diego’s hand is set on his back and it grounds him enough to let him hone in on the hero on the couch.

“No this is from last night,”answers Al, from the doorframe he’s leaning against. Klaus nods, mostly to himself before listening to A-Train’s words.

“I can’t believe I ran into that guy,” He says, running his hand through his shorn hair, “I couldn’t stop myself at all.”

“Hey, man. It’s all cool,” The other pats him on the back, “Vought’s gonna cover you. They’ve got your back.”

“Yea, I know,” A-Train shakes his head with an almost amazed glaze in his eyes, “Wanna know something fucked? I ran through that dumbass so fast, I swallowed one of his molars. Like a goddamn bug.”

“Dude,” the other guys says, his voice drippy with alcohol, “That’s disgusting.”

Both of them burst into cruel laughter, unaware that they were being recorded. The drinks in their hands sloshed back and forth as they cackle together, drunk out of their minds and so delirious that they were unable to comprehend just how messed up their words were.

Klaus can’t understand the insanity of it all. Even as someone well-acquainted with the effects of alcohol and the way it attacks your mind, Klaus had never, in all his years of alcohol abuse, heard a callous act such as what had happened to Dave be spoken of in such as way. 

He wants Dave’s name out of their filthy Supe mouths. 

“They’re laughing…”

Diego’s hands still keep trying to touch him, drag him down to the floor, but all Klaus can hear is the pounding of rage in his bones and the heat in his face.

“They’re laughing like.. Dave is some sort of joke?”

“Hey,” Diego finally takes Klaus’ hand in his “Hey, Klaus..”

“What! What are you going to say to me, Diego? That it’s ok?! That this isn’t some sort of sick joke happening to me?  _ That I should be able to see my boyfriend's ghost so that I can get some closure or some bullshit?  _ Well newsflash Diego, my powers are bullshit! All I can see are the people I don’t want to see!” Klaus screeches at Diego, flailing his arms in a frenzy. Diego’s lips open and Klaus is so close to him that he can see the dryness flecks.

Diego clears his throat and replies, “I’m not telling you that it was ok. I’m trying to help you get revenge Klaus, To take Vought down.”

Klaus blinks with the face of a startled cat, eyes open and mouth dropped.

“You’re going to take down Vought?”

“Correction,” Diego smirks back, “We are.”

* * *

Vanya was currently hiding in the bathroom. Sure it wasn’t the most conspicuous place to just chill, but you know whatever works? She was in the middle of setting up her official White Violin Instagram, tapping out her bio when someone walked into the bathroom with her.

“Hey!” says the peppy voice of the Handler as she clambers into the stall next to Vanya, “What are you doing in here?”

Vanya swallows the lump in her throat, trying to ignore the general awkwardness of chatting in the bathroom, “Uh…”

“Hiding?” teases The Handler, “From all the shit happening in the Seven’s quarters, huh?”

Vanya cringes to herself, trying not to recall the shitty way The Deep and Translucent had degraded her and the way Spaceboy and Rumor’s attempts to dissolve the situation had gone absolutely nowhere. And finally, Reginald Hargreeves, himself, the man who ran the entire company of Vought, had barely even acknowledged the blatantly misogynist way she had been treated.

It disgusts her.

“They’re like animals, aren’t they?,” purrs the Handler, “Following the smell of something they need to survive.” Two manicured hands grip the top of the stall door and the Handler’s face peaks over the stall, staring down at Vanya, crouched on top of the toilet. 

“Wouldn't it be great if someone else was in charge?” The Handler asks, trapping Vanya in her gaze. Vanya swallows the very large lump in her throat and says, “Sure,” just to try and get out of that situation. 

The Handler pats the stall door before finally slipping away. Vanya can see her red heels under the door as she walks out, throwing out one final sentence as she goes.

“You won’t have to wait for much longer.”

As soon as she leaves the room, Vanya is gone, hightailing it out of the room as fast as she can. If the Handler comes back and finds her there, she doesn’t even want to think about the implications of the entire event. What had the Handler been trying to accomplish? Why had she peeked over the stall? What was the implications of her last phrase?

All these questions and more resounded through her head as Vanya scurries down the halls, searching for a friendly face. Rumor or Spaceboy preferred, but she’d even take Black Noir if she had too, at least he didn’t talk.

She doesn’t search for long since she practically runs into both Spaceboy and Rumor within a couple of minutes. They’re engaged in conversation, backs to the door that Vanya has just entered through and since they haven’t turned around, they probably don’t know she’s there. 

“-It’s like he doesn’t even notice.”

“I’m sure he has a reason for not punishing them. He’s a smart guy, Allie, but even he needs time to come up with something. They always do get some sort of comeuppance.”

“And who told you that they do?” Rumor spits, crossing her arms across her chest. Vanya takes an awkward step back, trying not to impeach on their conversation. 

“Dad.” admits Spaceboy with the tired tone he seemed to always have. Vanya hadn’t noticed it when he’d given speeches and broadcasts, but in person -and in private- it’s definitely there. 

“See, you believe everything that man tells you,” Rumor says, her tone a bit miffed, “He doesn’t have your interests at heart, Luther.”

Huh. Spaceboy’s name is Luther. Vanya has to admit, it’s a bit more dorky of a name than she expected. For some reason whenever she had seen Spaceboy on television she’d imagined him with the name Tom, or worse, John. She retreated a bit more, shuddering with horror.

“I don’t want to have this conversation, Allison,” Luther growls, the soft energy he’d had gone in an instant, “He’s not a bad person.”

Rumor, Allison (a name that suits her nicely) moans to the ceiling above her, pulling her hands down her face in frustration, “He’s not a bad person, my ass! Did you see how uncomfortable they were making Vanya feel? And Reginald didn’t do shit to stop it!”

Vanya perks up a bit at the mention of her own name, fear of the Handler forgotten. It’s when he straightens up a bit however, that Allison catches a glimpse of her in the window reflection.

“Vanya!” Allison has the decency to look embarrassed, “We didn’t see you there.” Luther turns to look at her as well, with a mildly curious expression. He and Vanya had only exchanged brief formalities in the meeting room, so Vanya really had no idea what to make of this entire discussion.

Before she could stop herself, she whips out a half-heated jazz hands, “Surprise!”

It makes her want to instantly punch herself in the face. And it seemed like Luther also wanted to do that to himself, due to the red color seeping into his skin.

“Sorry for discussing you without your permission,” He says and it’s such a stupid and unnecessary apology that she actually laughs out loud, before realizing she’s laughing in the face of the golden child of Vought and slams her mouth closed. Allison only appears to be amused by the entire situation.

She also talks first, “You should go take a walk or something, Vanya. While we sort this thing out with our co-workers.”

“A walk?” asks Vanya, dizzy from the constant switching of her scenario. Luther only shrugs. Allison nods.

“You need one, to just clear your head and let go. We’ll handle the others,” She waves at Vanya in a dismissal and Vanya wastes no time leaving the building. 

She needs the fresh air after all the bullshit she’s gone through already. And the park at five in the afternoon seems like a great idea.

* * *

Klaus is currently reeling from the sheer amount of information that’s been dumped on him in the course of a couple of hours. Diego had basically run him through every step of the process of sneaking into Vought and bugging them to find out their secret conversations and business moves. But Klaus was still caught up on one thing.

_ “I have to talk to A-Train?” He’d asked Diego, who only nodded as if that explained everything. _

_ “It’s the only way they’ll let you in. Say you’ll sign the NDA only if A-Train apologizes to you, in person.”  _

_ Klaus had bit his lip, staring at the number Diego had scrawled onto his hand. Diego’s phone number to be exact. It didn’t look like a government number, but maybe that was just a way of disguising himself as a passable human. _

_ Well it didn’t work that well because of all the leather and knives. _

_ He swallowed the lump in his throat and asked, “Can I think about it?” _

And here he was, on a park bench, thinking about it.

With some food of course.

The ghost of a lovely young woman watched in horrified fascination as he stuffs the entire chilli dog in his mouth, chewing with gusto. He winks at her as seductively as he can, watching her expression go from shock to amazement at the fact that he can see her. 

He’s glad that he has some control over his powers now. Of course, most of the revelations that had come with his powers had been through Dave, who’d always been in love with the powers of Supes and even wished he was one on a daily basis, despite Klaus telling him that it wasn’t as easy as it looked. 

Which brings him back to the subject of Diego. Diego who had powers, Diego who was just like him, a Supe that didn't want to be a paid hero. Klaus had often wondered if any other Supes were hidden in plain sight, just like he was, but he’d never received any evidence that that theory of his was true so he’d eventually abandoned it.

Now he was exposed to a whole new world that he’d dreamed about when deciding to never be a superhero.

_ Diego had handed him the police files on the day of Dave’s death. Klaus took them with shaking hands, staring at them in horror. _

_ “There’s no bank robberies that day,” Diego pointed out, pointing at the list of crimes, “A-Train said he couldn’t stop because of a robbery. If there was no robbery..” _

_ Klaus finished for him, “Where was he going in such a rush?” A flash of red in A-Train’s bloody hand. _

_ “Where was he taking that bag?” _

_ Diego smirked as if he’d stumbled upon a gold mine, “Or who was he taking it too?” _

He pops his fingers in his mouth, licking the rest of the chilli off when he notices the small girl next to him. She looks familiar, her mousey hair tucked into a bun and a sweatshirt on her body. Klaus cocks his head at her, trying to place the face. 

She spots him looking at her before he can look away, laughing quietly. He smiles at her with a waggle of his brows, “Looking at something?”

“Just the chilli stains on your shirt,” She teases him, through her soft giggles. Klaus only grins a bit wider.

“It’s part of my charm,” He tells her as she bursts into laughter once again, her shoulders moving up and down with the force of her laughs. Klaus keeps silent, enjoying the sound of mirth from his new friend’s form. When she eventually stops, her chest heaving is when he turns back to her, ready to crack another joke, but she interrupts him before he can.

“Thanks for that, I’m kinda having a shitty day.” She says seriously, before leaning back on the bench. 

Klaus can sorta relate, his day has been mostly just a shit ton of information and the general sense of being overwhelmed. 

“Anything I can do to help?” He offers, wiping some of his chili-stained fingers on his patterned bell bottoms. Her head turns back towards him, regarding him with suspicion before relaxing, “Sure why not?”

Her breath before launching into an explanation is a bit worrying, “I just got this new job, right? And I’ve wanted this job.. For years. Almost my whole life. It’s kinda like my dream job. Anyways, It was my first day today. And I met some people who really were the best, they helped me and got me excited to be there. But some of my co-workers are just...the fucking worst.”

Klaus sighs to himself, watching the ghost woman from earlier try and get his attention, “What stops you from speaking up then? Just tell your boss and get them fired?”

“That’s just it,” She sighs, “The boss just lets it happen in front of him. One of my co-workers is the only one helping with the whole situation and there’s another one who’s trying but he just can’t seem to stop kissing up to my boss.” She rubs one of her eyes with a grunt, “It’s just so frustrating. I thought I could handle anything and it’s just my first day, but I’ve never felt so powerless in my whole life.”

Klaus nods distantly, his hand clenching as he remembers Dave’s chopped up limbs in his hands, blood spewing down the street, “I get the feeling.”

“I guess I’m just not who I thought I was,” She finishes as if it’s a big conclusion and then she laughs again, “Sorry for just, unloading all that on you.”

“No it’s good,” He waves her off, “Sometimes it’s nice to just rant at random strangers in the park.”

She laughs, light and airy before falling back into silence. Klaus clicks his tongue against his cheek for a moment and then speaks, “You know if that job is really your dream job, then you should just… prove them wrong.”

She stops to look at him and Klaus smiles a bit at nothing, “I, uh, used to know this guy. And we’d go out and do stuff together, Fun stuff, you know?” 

There’s a slight nod from her, so he keeps going, trying not to choke on his words when he speaks about Dave, “One time, we went to play laser tag. Against a bunch of middle schoolers. You know, normal adult things.” A smile tugs at her lips so he thinks he’s doing alright.

“An my uh, friend got shot by this kid while in there. It was like cheating or something…” Klaus’ smile grows at the memory, “And the kid called him a boomer. Which is stupid cause he’s like my age. Anyways, I asked him if he was ok cause the kid had like elbowed him in the ribs and he says, “Yea, I’m not going to let some dumbass that thinks wearing all neon in a laser tag ring tell me who I am.”

Klaus finishes his story with a fond smile, remembering the carnage they're wasted upon the middle schoolers at the end of the day, “So that’s my advice to you, Don’t let some dumbass doing everything wrong tell you who you are.”

She blinks at him with a similar expression that most people get when he tells a story, before actually smiling with her whole face, “That’s simultaneously the weirdest and best advice ever given.”

“That’s how I roll,” He tells her, his heart a bit lighter after seeing her smile. She nods, chewing her lip as her head bops up and down, “I’m not what they say I am.”

“Yeah!” He pumps the air with his fist as her voice gets stronger, “I’m a fighter!”

“HELL YEA YOU ARE!”

“I’LL PUNCH THEM INTO NEXT WEEK!”

“A little scary there, my bench buddy, but cool! You stick it to the man!”

She laughs again, for the last time before reaching over, “I’m Vanya by the way.”

And in that moment, Klaus knows who she is. The new Vought superhero, the White Violin. He’s just given advice to one of Vought’s heroes and from the sounds of her complaints, Diego was right. The Supes at Vought are awful people.

He hopes his smile isn’t too strained when he shakes her hand, “Klaus.”

* * *

When Klaus arrived home after his random encounter with Vanya on a park bench, it took him two hours to call Diego.

Two hours to go through every news outlet he could find, looking for some sort of place A-Train could’ve been running to to help someone like Vanya had said she wanted to do.

Nothing.

Two hours of being inspired enough to do things that he hadn’t done since Dave died, like take a shower (ew) and clean up his house (only a smidge). He didn’t touch any of Dave’s things that he’d left at Klaus’s house, he couldn’t bring himself to do that just yet, but he did find the cheap dog tags with Dave’’s name on them that Dave had won at a local fair.

Klaus had put them on. 

Klaus had set Diego’s name in his phone to Knife Kink just to see the look on Diego’s face when he’d typed it in, so it actually took him a bit to remember that he had done that, before he finally called Diego.

When Diego finally picked up, there was a clattering noise in the background, almost methodical like a fan but heavier. He sounded fairly put off by being called, “Who the fuck is this?”

“It’s uh, Klaus,” Klaus stammers, “Is right now a bad time?”

“Oh!” Diego sounds relieved, “No it’s fine. I’m just handling something right now, but I’m glad you called. You got an answer?”

“Yea,” Klaus says definitely and before his logic kicks in, “Let’s do it.”

* * *

The meeting with Vought is set for 11 o’ clock.

Diego is driving him there and back.

Klaus isn’t prepared at all.

Diego pulls up in an old rusty black car that Klaus didn’t expect and at the same time absolutely did. He steps out of the car with a grumpy look on his face, but the only thing Klaus can see is the loud Hawaiian shirt paired with a leather trench coat he’s wearing. 

Not that Klaus is any better in his floral jumpsuit and neon go-go boots but hey.

“Nice shirt,” Klaus crows to Diego as he slides into the passenger seat. Diego rolls his eyes, “Thanks, my kid picked it out. Said it might actually give me a personality.” Klaus howls with laughter, something even more exaggerated by the fact that he’s trying to ignore what he’s actually supposed to be doing right now.

“Your kid sounds great. When will I get to meet them?” Klaus asks because he’s genuinely curious what Diego does instead of being all vigilante and shit. 

Diego shoots him a look, “I don’t want him anywhere near what I do. He’s been through enough.”

Klaus’ mouth forms an ‘O” before he slams his mouth shut, wondering what must’ve happened to Diego’s kid. As Diego’s foot presses on the gas, he wonders if that’s why Diego hates Vought because they hurt his kid. 

Much like the car, it oddly sounds completely in character for Diego to do that.

What’s not in character is the blasting of the extremely iconic “Spice Up Your Life,” by the one and only Spice Girls.

To Diego’s credit, he doesn’t even flinch at the music, instead speeding down the streets of the city to the tune. Klaus finds himself mouthing the lyrics and moving his arms as they sail past pedestrians who squawk in indignation at their velocity.

They get to Vought way too soon for Klaus’s liking, barely even halfway through the second chorus. Diego’s face is only relief when he finally has an excuse to turn down the volume. Klaus pouts in disappointment.

“Now you see,” begins Diego as if he hasn’t just driven like a maniac down the street to the voices of the Spice Girls, “All you gotta do is go in there, sign the paper and implement this bug.” He waves a small chip at Klaus,”Not too hard?”

“Won’t they have some sort of security?” Klaus asks him. Diego rolls his eyes, “Nah, they don’t give a shit about us. Too high and mighty, they think no one’s coming for them. It’s why their metal detectors won’t pick this up.” He grabs Klaus’ phone with expert hands and holds up a small chip to show him, sliding in between the case and the actual phone.

He doesn’t stop, instead plowing along, “When you get in there, just follow whoever’s lead, no questions asked. Be polite and act like you're going to take all the fake shit, then peel back the plastic bit and stick that thing underneath the table. Keep the trash, leave no trace. Simple.”

“Alright,” Klaus says, steeling his nerves in front of Diego’s withering gaze, “Simple.”

* * *

It’s decidedly more stressful than he ever thought it would be to sneak into a multi billion dollar corporation filled to the brim with people who could kill him and his only backup being a guy in a Hawaiian shirt and leather trench coat.

And it’s also the easiest thing ever.

The bored looking security guy barely glances over his phone that the bug is hidden in before sliding it back to Klaus’s waiting hands. Even with all the nervous sweat practically dribbling down Klaus’ face and his expression probably not being much different, they still let him past them and into the rest of the Vought Building, where he’s quickly escorted up the stairs and into the boardroom, just as Diego said he would be.

He’s robbed from thrift stores more cautious than this.

He’s left alone in the boardroom as the woman with white hair,  _ Handler?,  _ went to get A-Train and the contract, so Klaus has the time to plant the bug and contemplate his life while he’s at it.

So he does just that. Plants the bug and then waits for the murderer that started him on the bizarre section of his life to waltz into the room.

It doesn’t take long.

The lawyer that he was briefly introduced to at the beginning of his journey, Grant?, saunters in with a “Just as you’re aware, A-Train’s apology is not an admission of culpability whatsoever?”

Klaus tunes him out, rising to his feet as A-Train himself steps into the room. His uniform is crisp and clean, cleared of any sort of debris from the collision but all Klaus can hear is a ringing in his ears and all he can see is the blood down the front of A-Train.

“I’m sorry man,” A-Train appears as though he wants to be anywhere but here, “About what happened to your boyfriend,” There’s a familiar twitch of the lips that Klaus knows all too well, from certain groups and Ezekiel, among things.

Even if all he wants is the take this monster down, even if all he can do is it there and pant at him, Klaus can’t. He can’t because he’s not strong enough. Not strong enough here, in the hall of heroes, not strong enough, because it’s as Diego says.

Everything is against him in this place of hell. His sexuality, his status, his income.

So he smiles tightly through the pain and says the most petty thing he can think of, “It’s alright”, He grasps A-Train’s hand and shakes it, “After all, you were saving the world.”

He watches A-Train’s face after he says it, because they both know very well that A-Train wasn’t. The tension is almost palpable on his tongue.

A-Train doesn’t flinch. Behind him, the Handler re-enters the room.

“Great!” She says peppily, “As you know a hero’s work is never done. “ She practically throws herself on top of A-Train to pull him away, “Lance will handle the rest of the paperwork with you,” She says to Klaus as A-Train leaves the room, not even once looking back.

It’s when he’s signing the paperwork that Klaus begins to notice something happening outside the walls of the room he’s in. Judging from the lawyer’s confused stare, this wasn’t a part of the meeting they had arranged for.

“Just give me a minute,” Lance excuses himself, before heading out the door. Klaus goes back to signing the NDA, aware that this is the best and worst he’s felt in a long time.

He’s shaken hands with Dave’s killer. 

He’s also just robbed Vought of its confidentiality. 

He feels sick.

The door opens again and Lance comes in, red in the face and a bit frazzled-looking. He waves his arms at Klaus when he sees him still in there. 

“There’s an emergency meeting taking place in here, right now!’ He tells Klaus, fear in his voice, “Sign these quickly!”

Klaus, remembering Diego’s directions to always do what they ask, doesn’t hesitate in signing the rest and leaving as fast as he can, retreating from the scene of his crime. He’s running down the stairs when a trail of stressed looking people in business suits run the opposite direction, all gasping for breath and some even crying.

Klaus tears his eyes away and continues walking as if nothing’s wrong, eventually making his way out to Diego’s trashy car and entering the door. As soon as he does, Diego hits the gas, peeling away from Vought and towards the freeway.

“Whoa!” Klaus tells him, startled as to why Diego’s moving so quickly, “What’s the rush? No one saw us do anything?”

“Correct,” says Diego, gritting his teeth, “We’ve got another problem on our hands right now.”

Klaus can hardly believe him when he speaks, instead stammering out, “Another problem?”

“Yea,” Diego says, not taking his eyes off the road, “Reginald Hargreeves just fucking died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLAM IT TO THE LEFT IF YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME  
SLAM IT TO THE RIGHT IF YOU KNOW YOU FEEL FINE!
> 
> I know I said, Ben would make an appearance this chapter, but plot got away from me so now he will come next chapter.
> 
> Also, hello Umbrella Academy Plot!


	3. i think we're alone now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and Diego pick up two new people.
> 
> Vanya attends a funeral and learns who to trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEEEE!!
> 
> I changed the rating, don't know if you care.
> 
> For people wondering, Ben makes an appearance this chapter and Five is next chapter. 
> 
> Also the plot has officially been mapped out and it's so different from both shows that I kinda don't know if this should be a crossover anymore.. I PROMISE ITS GOOD JUST DIFFERENT

Klaus isn’t sure how long they’ve been driving for at this point. It feels like hours of just watching the scenery go by and halfway debating simply jumping out of the window to get away from it all. Diego has basically floored it all the way, only slowing down when his radio crackled with police chatter. 

It’s a wonder they haven’t been arrested.

Klaus also misses the Spice Girls, as bizarre as that was. 

Diego hasn’t said a word to him since they left Vought. There’s now a tense silence between them as the radio tunes in and out as more and more people get alerted.

The CEO of Vought International is dead. 

Klaus has ran from the building. 

Diego’s brows furrow a bit deeper as the radio tunes in once again, a voice emerging from the static. 

_ The death of Reginald Hargreeves has devastated the nation. Many have all come to see him as a superhero in his own right….  _

Diego snorts, eyes darting to his left mirror as he changes lanes. Klaus only blinks, and continues watching the grass roll by without a care in the world. He’s waiting. Waiting for Diego to break this awkward moment between them that has literally lasted for hours, but his gut is starting to pick up on Diego’s overall vibe and something tells him that they’ll be in the chilly quiet for a lot longer.

Klaus puffs some air onto the window, heating up the glass with his breath and begins to draw in it. His finger squeaks with every movement and before long, there’s a fully detailed drawing of Dave in the mist, before it simply fades away. 

Klaus is randomly overcome with emotion as the last vestiges of Dave wash away. He lets out a pathetic sniffle as his snot drips down his lips, trying not to make himself appear any less put together than Diego. Which is saying something, considering Diego’s been rapidly twitching for the last three hours. 

It’s when Klaus is staring out the window again, eyes carefully scanning the now forest landscape that he spots the white van, practically on their tail. 

It’s not that unusual to be followed on a road, Klaus tells himself, heart sinking in his chest. It’s not that unusual.

But the feeling in his stomach tells him otherwise, and before long, he’s leaning over, closer to Diego, trying to catch a glimpse of the driver behind them. Diego lets out a small mumble of protest and for the first time, Klaus can see the red rims in his eyes. They’ve been driving for hours and it’s no wonder that the Fed wouldn’t notice something as ordinary as a car following them.

But when Klaus finally gets a look in the mirror at the driver’s seat, his blood almost goes cold.

There’s no driver.

No one’s driving that car.

Or… 

Someone is.

And Klaus can’t see them.

“Fuck!” He hisses, falling back down on his seat. Diego shakes himself out of whatever funk he’s in at the sound of a noise other than the humming of the engine and the crackling radio.

“What?” 

“We’re being followed,” Klaus informs him gravely, watching Diego’s eyes widen. He twists around in his seat to try and spot who it is, letting out a thin hiss when he spots no one in the seat.

“Damnit!” He snarls, punching his wheel, “We've almost made it there without dealing with this bullshit!”

Klaus blinks, now able to ask questions that the silence was broken, “Where exactly are we going?”

Diego looks at him as if he’s stupid, a look that Klaus does not appreciate, thank you very much, “We’re going to a friend of mine’s place. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Reginald Hargreeves is dead and it won’t be long till you’ll be blamed.”

“What?!” Klaus practically shouts at him, “Why would I be blamed for it? I didn’t do anything?”

“It’s the worst case scenario,” agrees Diego, foot pressing a bit harder on the gas, “But in my line of work, it’s always best to assume the worst. That’s why we aren’t going back to my place, or yours for that matter.”

He reaches up adjust the mirror a bit before glowering at the road in front of them,”We need to figure out what the hell is happening there.”

He turns to Klaus with an arched brow, “Can’t you see ghosts? What’s that guy look like?”

Klaus rolls his eyes at Diego’s ignorance, “That’s not how it works, asshole.”

If Diego hears the insult, he doesn’t react, “Than how does it work?”

Klaus huffs a bit, pulling himself into his chest, “I can see every ghost that decides to stick around. If the guy behind us was a ghost then I’d be able to see him, but I can’t see shit, which is frankly the worst feeling ever.”

“Translucent.” Diego says suddenly, interrupting Klaus, “Uh…”

“Motherfucker,” Diego swears, twisting around in his seat to look behind them again, “We've got a tail.”

Klaus looks into the mirror again, determined not to be left out. It’s with dawning horror that he realizes exactly what Diego meant by ‘tail’. They’re being followed by Translucent, Member of the Seven and well-regarded as a great stealth hero.

He’s also invisible.

It’d be a lie if Klaus said he remains calm, he absolutely  _ flips.  _

“What are we going to do?!” 

Diego doesn’t look much better to be honest, he’s taking deeper breaths than Klaus has ever heard anyone naturally take ever. He doesn’t respond for a bit, too busy calming down before he speaks again, voice dull.

“We can’t let him follow us to Ben’s. All of the Seven have trackers, they’ll find us instantly.”

“Shit,” breathes out Klaus, not sure what else to say, “What are we going to do?”

Diego’s scowl gets a bit deeper, but he manages to keep his eyes on the road, “We need to lure him to somewhere, then lose him there.”

“Ok,” concedes Klaus, “But where?”

Diego chews his lip, head slightly turned to look out the window. After a second, he grins spotting a sign on the side of the road, “How about a McDonald’s?”

Klaus snickers, before realizing Diego’s serious, “Alright? Whatever works?”

Diego pulls off at the next exit, still making sure Translucent’s car stays behind them. Klaus watches as the white van follows behind them, now trying to memorize the license plate now that he knows the vehicle is hostile.

It takes no time at all to pull up to the McDonald’s, but neither Diego or Klaus make a move to get out. Instead, Diego looks at Klaus with a slightly apprehensive expression, “I’m sorry, Klaus.”

“For what?” asks Klaus, genuinely confused as to what Diego is referring to. Diego’s lips twitch slightly before he answers, “For dragging you into this. This mess.”

“Why would you?” Klaus questions him, placing on of his hands onto Diego’s shoulder, “You’re trying to help me get some justice. I think that’s a pretty noble thing for you to do.”

Diego’s hand reaches up and carefully pulls Klaus’ hand off his shoulder. “I’m more selfish than you probably realize. You’re not the only person they’ve screwed over, and you certainly have not been treated the worst.”

Klaus swallows a lump in his throat, remembering the burning hate in Diego’s voice when he spoke of Vought and what they’ve done, specifically to one person, “Your kid?”

Diego nods, eyes distant, unable to look at Klaus, “He’s not even mine or anything. No formal adoption. But he’s been with me for about a year and a half so he’s basically my kid at this point.” Diego stops, thinking about how he’s going to continue before speaking again, “It’ll be easier to explain later, since we have something more important to do right now.” As he says this, he leans forward over the seat and carefully pulls out a long knife. Klaus, numbly contemplating Diego’s speech about the kid, jumps back in fright.

“That’s a big knife,” He says, a bit frazzled. Diego chuckles darkly, moving the knife around his body, making sure to not get nicked.

“I’m not going to use it on him,” Diego scowls, setting the knife down, “I’m just getting the tranquilizers.”

“Oh!” huffs Klaus, amused, “That’s much better!”

Diego pulls out a small red kit, something that reminds Klaus of a darker time and begins fixing a small dart together. He avoids looking at Klaus, altogether, instead concentrating on his task. Klaus goes back to making sure that their invisible friend hasn’t moved.

He hasn’t, at least from what Klaus can see. 

_ Probably waiting to see what we’re doing. Assessing the scene. _

_ Gotta give it to him, he’s smart. _

Besides him, Diego taps the dart he’s holding and grins. 

“This bad boy outta do the trick.”

Klaus stares, wondering if he’s actually just heard the words he thinks he did come out of Diego’s mouth. 

“Bad boy?”

Either Diego doesn’t want to explain or doesn't care too, because he’s now crawling over the seat to sit in the back, the dart still gripped firmly in his hand. Klaus watches him in fascination. 

“What are you-” His question is cut off by Diego beginning to swing his arm back and forth, preparing to aim. Whatever he’s trying to do, Klaus can tell that from the angle he’s in and the window blocking his aim, there’s no way he’s going to make the shot. “Diego!” He shouts, just as the dart flies out of Diego’s hand. Klaus watches in horrified fascination as it hurls forward, wildly and completely off target. 

There’s a loud clatter as something goes through their back window, leaving a small hole in the glass, followed by a thump that sounded creepily familiar to a body. Diego whistles appreciatively, lowering his arm to survey the damage.

“What the fuck just happened,” Klaus asks, awed and a bit cowed, twitching a bit.

Diego smirks at him, hand grappling with the door handle, “Told you you’re not the only Supe.”

He leaves the car at that, leaving Klaus to his thoughts as he goes to collect their prize.

Klaus watches him go, reflecting on how this entire situation has escalated. Diego’s back arches smoothly as he jacks open the car door to get to Translucent. 

It doesn’t take long before Diego’s sprawled out onto the floor and Klaus remembers one fact about Translucent that he’d completely forgotten.

He’s not just invisible. He’s also invulnerable.

And Diego’s just been attacked, back on the hard, gravelly concrete and blood smeared on his jacket. Klaus thinks it’s from his elbow but it’s too hard to tell. Diego is struck backwards from an unseen force as Klaus watches helplessly from the car. His head glances onto the floor and Klaus is filled with the unimaginable fear of Diego’s ghost joining the group that already follow him constantly.

Or he’d be like Dave and fuck off to heaven or where ever he went.

Klaus can’t take it either way.

He jumps over the middle compartment of the car and into the driver’s seat, praying that his driving lessons he took as a young sixteen year old paid off, since he’d actually never gotten his license. He pressed onto the lever in the middle, sliding it into the drive slot and lurching the car forward with a foot on the gas.

Translucent stops fighting Diego on the floor to stop and stare at the moving car. His body shimmers in the air as he says something to Diego, whose face has gone from scared to angry in seconds. He glares at the back of the car until there’s a small click.

It only takes a second for him to realize what Klaus is doing. He instantly pushes onto the floor with his hands, sliding himself across the concrete and away from the car’s line of fire, just as it shot backwards directly into the spot where Translucent was standing.

There’s a sickening crunch as a body hits metal and then silence.

Diego laughs from the floor as Klaus scrambles out of the car.

“You fucked up a perfectly good car, Klaus.”

* * *

It’s literally been four days.

Four days since she arrived and honestly, it’s been the most stressful three days of her entire goddamn life. Her chat with that nice man, Klaus, on the park bench had eased her tension slightly, but apparently as soon as she had started to adjust, the world threw another curveball her way.

Case in point, the coffin in front of her.

Next to her, the Deep shuffled awkwardy, his face bored and slightly perplexed. She eyes him, trying to gauge him. She watches the fins on his chest move under his suit and turns her head back to the funeral in front of her, uncomfortable. If only he hadn’t been such a dick to her maybe she would have tolerated the existence of his supernatural strangeness a bit more.

Instead, he’d tried to corner her in the boardroom yesterday and demanded things that no self-respecting person ever would have. Directly after their CEO’s death too. He has no sense of self-awareness. 

At least Allison had told her his real name was Kevin and no one actually took him seriously at all. It balanced out the power dynamic between them just a bit.

Speaking of Allison, she was nearby, staring at the coffin of Reginald Hargreeves in numb contemplation. Her hand rubs the nearby shoulder of (1) Spaceboy. He’s shaking so hard that Vanya fears if the mountains of press weren't surrounding the mourners, he would have started crying hours ago.

The man currently at the podium is by far the most droll of all the speakers that Vanya’s been forced to listen to thus far. Her legs had gone numb by the time the second man in a suit had cried his crocodile tears and droned about the amount of revenue this funeral was going to give Vought, not to mention the first speech had lasted almost an hour. She should know, she timed it.

Besides her the Deep is staring at something on the floor very intensely and she forces herself to not follow his gaze down there. No need to follow a coward's lead. Instead she asks, “Who’s talking right now?”

The Deep -Kevin- glances up to see who’s actually talking before rolling his eyes, “Dr. Pogo, Head of Science at Vought.”

“Oh,” Vanya replies, feeling stupid. She can’t help but wonder when Vought got a science section. She doesn’t remember that on any part of any of the forms she’d signed when agreeing to work with them.

Pogo’s still talking, something about Reginald being a friend to him and how “he made him who he is today.” Vanya groans to herself. This is incredibly boring.

She finds herself itching her boot, waiting for Pogo’s speech to end. When she looks back up at the podium, Pogo is no longer alone. The Handler now stands next to him in her shiny red shoes and general creepy vibes. At least she isn’t smiling for once.

“Welcome!” She says, voice still peppy despite the rather depressing circumstances, “I know today has been rather hard from all of us.” She pauses, waiting for the mumble of assent from the crowd before going on, “But, we here at Vought are always ready for the future. So, I am pleased to announce that I will be taking over the seat of the CEO of Vought for the time being until we can find someone with the uh-  _ correct qualifications-  _ to guide us well.”

Why does that sound more sinister than Vanya would have liked to hear? Her eyes glance through the rest of the crowd to see if anyone else caught that thinly-veiled threat, but most people look quite excited.

Except the Deep, who grumbles to himself and shifts besides her. There’s a slight breeze on her other side indicating the presence of Translucent. Vanya can’t help but inch closer to the Deep, he might be an asshole, but at least he’s not naked.

The Handler continues, “Rest assured, Vought has not been weakened by the loss of our CEO, in fact, we here hope that this shared pain will be able to bring us closer together.” Her cold eyes find Vanya in the crowd and she beams a bit bigger, “I’m looking forward to leading this amazing company.”

Vanya gets a chill down her spine and she finds herself drawn to a gaze looking at her. 

It’s Allison, staring at her, still looking drop-dead (hah) gorgeous in her all black outfit and a worried, pinched expression on her face. 

_ We’ll talk after the funeral,  _ she mouths at Vanya, still calming a distraught Luther. Vanya nods numbly and turns back to the Handler on the pedestal, with a grin on her face.

_ Wonder what she wants to talk about? _

* * *

Ben’s house is not what Klaus expected.

Granted, not a lot is, he’s kinda not having the best week of his life at this point, but pulling up to a small apartment complex is definitely not what he expected based on Diego’s description of the guy- a young man who wanted to be a hero but was rejected because of his terrifying abilities.

He wondered what kind of abilities were so awful that a money-lauding company like Vought would turn someone down.

Diego tells him that they’re really only here to pick up Ben. 

“We’re probably going to need his help with our  _ invisible friend,”  _ He gestures towards the smashed up trunk of their car, “Ben’s smart. He knows we can’t stay here long. Vought’s probably sent their better Supes after us at this point.”

Klaus nods sheepishly, wondering if he should apologize for bringing these circumstances upon them, just as Diego raps impatiently on the door.

They wait for an awkward amount of time before the door opens, revealing a completely average-looking guy in a Panera Bread worker outfit. His eyes are warm brown, but the second he sees Diego outside his door, they darken. 

“Oh hell no. Not again.” Ben tries to shut the door on them, but Diego carefully slides a hand inside, stopping it from closing all the way.

“Can we come in?” asks Diego as he immediately walks in ignoring Ben’s protest. Klaus follows behind him, a bit nervously. Thankfully, Ben seems more preoccupied with chewing out Diego than with some random guy in his apartment

“You fucking have the nerve to show up here! After I told you to lose all contact with me and never come crawling back again. After what happened with Grace. You have some fucking balls.”

Diego only blinks passively as Ben continues to lay down the law, thought Klaus does notice a flinch when the name Grace comes up. When Ben seems to slow down and take a breath, Diego speaks, “I found one of her kids, Ben.”

Ben’s eyes widen slightly and he gapes at him. Klaus’ eyes dart back and forth between the two, trying to figure out what the heck they’re talking about. 

“Yea,” Diego repeats to Ben, “I found one but..”

“But, what?” Ben whispers, voice tired, “Did you do something stupid and lose them too?” 

A sad laugh climbs it’s way out of Diego’s chest and he shakes his head, “No, he’s ok. I just… I need your help.” The last part is soft, as if it’s admission Diego’s never had before. Judging from the look on Ben’s face, he’s shocked by it. 

“Alright,” he says dizzily, “Ok, Diego. I’ll help you. For old time’s sake.” He lifts his head up to meet Diego’s with a fierce expression, “But on one condition..”

“Name it” snaps Diego, right back at him.

Ben breathes and then says, “I want to meet the kid.”

Diego draws in a shaky breath and pinches the furrow of his brow with an exhausted groan, “Fine.”

Klaus raises his hand as though he’s in a classroom, “Am I the only one who’s completely confused as to what’s happening?”

Ben blinks, drawing himself out of whatever anger-fueled rage he’s in to look at Klaus, “I’m sorry who is this?”

“Oh,” Diego’s eyes flit towards Klaus, “This is Klaus Klein, I might’ve accidentally gotten him involved with my-” He stops at Ben’s eyebrow raise, “ _ Our  _ feud with Vought.”

“Hey man,” Klaus says, raising one of his hands up, the “Hello” one, “I don’t like them much either.” 

Ben frowns at him and Diego simply rolls his eyes. Whether it’s in amusement or exasperation, Klaus can’t tell. He doesn’t really care that much, “Don’t you think we should leave as soon as possible?”

That seems to motivate Diego a bit, he tugs on Ben’s arm with urgency, “You should pack some stuff. You’ll be gone for a bit.”

Ben only sighs and leaves, retreating into what can only be the bedroom to pick up some clothes. Diego and Klaus watch him go, before Klaus speaks to Diego, “So how did you two meet?”

“Used to work together,” grunts Diego, pulling out a knife and cleaning his fingernails. Klaus hums in acknowledgement, eyes still on Diego. 

“Who’s Grace?” Klaus finally says, unable to contain his curiosity anymore. Diego flinches so hard his knife slices the finger he’s been picking away at. He curses loudly and carefully covers the wound with his other hand. Klaus would feel bad if he wasn’t so curious.

Diego puffs his cheeks out in exertion before answering, “A friend.”

“Seems a bit more than that,” Klaus wiggles his eyebrows at Diego, who’s plopped his finger into his mouth to try and suck the blood away (as unsanitary as that is). Who let this man out of the house?

Luckily for Klaus, Ben comes back into the room with a small bag and no longer wearing his Panera Bread outfit but now wearing something arguably worse.

“The hell is that?” He asks Ben, gesturing to his black hoodie. The hoodie would be fine, in Klaus’ opinion, if there weren’t giant letters reading “never trust an atom, they make up everything.” on the entire front. Ben scowls at him as if he’s not wearing the most embarrassing thing Klaus has ever seen, and Klaus is currently sporting go-go boots and bellbottoms.

“I like it,” he sniffs at Klaus, brushing past him to leave the door. Klaus sticks his tongue out at Ben as he does, meeting Diego’s unamused glare.

“What?”

Ben is waiting by the trunk of the car by the time they get there. He’s currently staring at the large body-sized dent in the metal and giving Diego the driest look Klaus has ever seen in his entire life.

Oh yeah, he likes Ben. Even with his stupid science puns.

Diego shrugs as he slips past, opening the passenger door and digging around the glove compartment for a first aid kit to treat his hand. Ben eyes Klaus as he sidles up to his new teammate, “Hey dude, I’m Klaus.”

“I know,” To his credit, Ben doesn’t look at Klaus’ outfit, “I’m Ben Park.”

“Cool!” Klaus says with a smile, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Ben’s tense grin gets a bit more relaxed, ‘Likewise.”

“So,” Klaus drawls as they wait for Diego to finish up with his hand, “What’s his deal?” He inclines his head towards him. 

Ben rolls his eyes and smirks back, “Diego? He and I met a while ago. About seven or so years. I can confirm that he’s always been an emotionally stunted man-child.”

Klaus’s shit-eating grin gets a lot bigger as Diego sputters at them, cursing as his hand flared up. Ben simply snorts and flips off Diego.

Oh yea, he likes Ben.

Ben’s smile fades after a second though and is replaced with a more serious expression, “What happened to Diego’s car?” 

_ We hit someone,  _ Klaus thinks to himself, before shrugging absently, “We kinda had a situation.”

Ben’s dark eyes narrow in suspicion, “What kind of situation?”

It’s at that moment that Diego chooses to shove the trunk open and reveal the superhero they have wrapped up in zip-ties in the back of their car. Ben startles backwards, although whether it’s from shock that there’s a person in their trunk or shock that there’s an  _ invisible  _ person in their trunk is too hard to tell.

Ben reaches upwards and slams the trunk door closed, “Why the fuck do you have a member of the Seven tied up in your car?” He hisses at Diego, “Do you know how dangerous that is?”

Diego sighs and runs a bandaged hand down his face, “I’m aware. However, Klaus and I had a little mishap at Vought about two days ago and yesterday we noticed this guy following us. We have no choice now that he’s seen our faces.”

Ben growls to himself, as if he’s trying not to admit that Diego’s right. Diego carefully slams the trunk back down on top of Translucent again, turning to Ben with a glare that somehow manages to also look pleading.

“If you can help Klaus and I get Vought off our back, then I’ll take you to Grace’s kid.”

Ben chews his lip and glances between Klaus and Diego and back to the trunk before sighing, letting his shoulders slump, “Alright. It’s a deal.”

* * *

The second the funeral was over, Allison practically dragged her down the hall and into a small room that Vanya was pretty sure was a closet. Her grip was tight and her face almost seemed paler than it noramlly was. Her eyes glimmered in the dark of the closet, “Vanya.”

“Yea?” Vanya asks, her voice slightly squeaky from the rush of their mad dash. 

“Do you trust the Handler?” Allison questioned, loosening her hold on Vanya’s hands. 

_ No,  _ Vanya wants to say to her, but after all she's been through in the past couple of days and all the lies she’s been forced to tell, she can’t get the truth past her lips, “She’s the CEO now, I have to.”

Allison shakes her head in apprehension, “She’s been wanting this for years. There’s no way she didn’t have anything to do with Reginald’s death.”

Vanya’s mouth opens in shock, she hadn’t thought anyone else caught onto the Handler’s weird vibes, “Has she ever said cryptic things to you in the bathroom before?” She blurts.

Allison’s perfectly plucked eyebrow raises, her lips move around each other in apprehension, “Not specifically in the bathroom, but yes.”

“Really?” Vanya finds it hard to believe someone as low on the totem pole as the Handler would’ve been able to say those things to Rumor and get away with it, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Rumor rolls her eyes, “I would’ve lost my job if I did. I can’t just simply get her to leave, that’s not how it works.”

“Isn’t that your thing?” Vanya eyes Allison with scrutiny, “Rumoring people to do what you want?”

Allison’s face falls and her hands drop completely off of Vanya’s shoulders, “Yea, I don’t really do that any more. Only for work.” Her head turns away from Vanya and towards the door leading to the outside world, “It’s cost me too much.”

Vanya really,  _ really  _ doesn’t want to deal with Allison possibly having a breakdown over this, so she hums and steers Allison back on track, “The Handler?”

“Right,” murmurs Allison, eyes distant, “Luther and I think she killed Reginald.”

“Okay?” Vanya crosses her arms in front of her chest, ignoring the small spike of pleasure at the idea of Reginald Hargreeves laying six feet under, “What evidence do you have?”

“Not much,” Allison pulls out a small tablet and begins to go through security footage, “All cameras inside the offices, you need a keycard to bypass and none of us have access to those. But these tapes are available to look at and here..” She stops the footage and points.

It’s the board room where the Seven normally meet to discuss the latest happenings. Vanya’s been there many times since arriving. However in the footage there’s only three people in the room.

A-Train, Vought’s lawyer- Lance- and another guy wearing patterned pants and dog tags.

Too bad she knows who that is.

“Klaus?”

Allison blanches backwards, eyes wide, “You know him?”

Vanya nods, watching Klaus move around in the staticky footage, “I met him on a park bench a couple of days ago. He’s really nice.”

“Well, he’s probably involved,” Allison pulls the tablet away, “He practically books it out of the building about five minutes after Reginald dies. Then he gets into this car.”

The scene on the camera changes to show a beat-down car waiting on the side of the street. As the tape played, Klaus bolts out of the building and crawls into the car, which instantly peels away, roaring down the street. Vanya watches it disappear, flabbergasted.

“But.” She whispers as the tape stops, “He was so nice.”

“That’s not all,” Allison continues, pressing her hand into Vanya’s shoulder, “Luther sent Translucent after them and we haven’t heard from him in days.”

Vanya’s heart stops. She hasn’t talked to Translucent in days, but she’d simply dismissed it as him being invisible and probably stalking people, since he was known to do that too.

She’d even thought she’d felt him at the funeral. 

But if a member of the Seven was missing… and Klaus has something to do with it….

She may not like Translucent and she may like Klaus. But she’s a hero, and heroes have to do the right thing. Even if her gut tells her otherwise.

“We need to find Translucent and figure out what this  _ Klaus _ knows,” Allison pulls away from Vanya with a dark expression, “We can’t let the Handler win.”

An image of the Handler’s smile forms in Vanya’s head and although every inch of her screams that Allison is right and the Handler is dangerous, but she can’t help but think,

“Would it be so bad?”

* * *

They pull up to an abandoned Chuck E. Cheese. 

The car ride has been, to say the least, intense. Ben and Diego haven’t spoken the entire time, only speaking if Klaus gently nudged the conversation foreward with a stick. 

He’d taken to gossiping with one of the ghosts that Ben had floating around him, instead. The guy was absolutely decimated, his body torn to shreds and head partially lopped off, but at least he was interesting to chat with.

“Oh yea,” He said waving his only arm at Ben, “Ben’s a nice guy, even if he killed me. I still think he’s pretty swell.”

“Dude, why’d he kill you if he’s that nice?” Klaus has never heard of someone who was dead defending their murderer, “That’s a bit messed up.”

The ghost shrugs, “He can’t control that monster in his stomach and I was robbing a store. Just kinda happened on accident after I tried to shoot him. We both tried to kill each other and only one of us succeeded. I don’t hold grudges.”

Klaus puckers his lips and eyes one of the other ghosts in the car with them,” Anyone else here like that?”

The ghost follows his gaze and sighs, “Not sure. I kinda don’t talk to other dead people.”

“Me too,” He itches his arm, “Dead people are kinda the worst.”

Ben turns around from the front seat with a mildly tense expression, “Who are you talking to?”

Klaus winks at him in lieu of an answer and looks back at the ghost, “Are you sure he’s a nice guy? He’s acting like someone shoved a stick up his ass.”

“Probably cause Diego’s here. They’re not on good terms.” The ghost says casually, “He’s a bit more ticked off.”

“Hmm,” hums Klaus, finally remembering Ben’s waiting for an answer, “I see dead people.”

Ben’s eyebrow touches his hair, “Really?”

“I hope so, otherwise that would be really awkward,” Klaus smiles tensely at the ghost near him. Ben blinks at him, a bit shocked, “Who are you seeing now?”

“Some guy,” Klaus dismisses, “Not really important.” The ghost rumbles in protest from besides him. 

Diego sticks his head through the window, “Are you two going to help me or what?”

With a dramatic eye roll, Ben pulls backwards and heaves himself out of the car, followed by Klaus. As his feet land onto the gravel, Klaus takes the opportunity to admire the scenery.

The first thing that hits him is the putrid smell of rotting cheese and meat. His stomach heaves and twists and he almost falls to his knees. Diego and Ben don’t even look at him, too busy prying open the trunk to get their prisoner out. It’s really hilarious to watch, since Translucent is invisible so it just appears as though they’re struggling with air. Randomly Ben’s nose begins to bleed. 

“Klaus open the door!”

He does so, holding his nose with one hand as he throws open the door to the abandoned restaurant to let the others inside. As soon as the door comes loose, the wave of disgusting odor gets even worse. The struggling from Translucent stops as he too, clamps his hands over his nose. Both Diego and Ben sigh in relief and use that opportunity to drag Translucent inside. Klaus follows them, albeit reluctant to get any closer to the source of the stench.

The inside is just as pretty as the smell would have you believe, arcade machines lying in disarray and mold growing in places Klaus didn’t even know mold could grow in. It’s absolutely disgusting, worse than all the alleyways and graveyards Klaus has slept in and he’s probably lived half of his entire life doing that.

The others drag Translucent down a hallway that they seem uncomfortably familiar with. Klaus wonders how many times they’ve done this before, considering how effectively they work as a team. He trails behind them, feeling like a third wheel.

By the time he manages to work out where they’ve gone, finding them due to the loud arguments and general noise they manage to create, they’ve already started arguing over how to get rid of Translucent.

“Maybe we can try drilling?” Ben asks, his expression bored despite the fact he’s discussing murder, “It might pierce the skin.”

Klaus remembers the ghost calling Ben ‘nice’ in the car and can’t help but compare that to the callous way Ben’s talking now. He slides into the room, trying not to draw attention to himself, especially since he’s less well-versed in the intricacies of murder than these two appear to be. Diego notices him anyways.

“What do you think, Klaus?”

Klaus shrugs in a way that he hopes gets Diego off his back, “Why are we even killing him in the first place?”

Ben blinks at him, tired and sad, “We don’t really have a choice anymore, Klaus.”

“Yea we do,” argues Klaus, leaning on a counter, “We don’t have to kill him just to prove a point.”

“We aren’t doing it to prove a point,” Diego says from where he’s examining more tools of death, “We’re doing it because this asshole will go straight to the other Seven members and give them our faces and then  _ we’ll  _ be dead.”

“Oh,” mumbles Klaus. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind that Diego and Ben could be doing this for any other reason than to simply take revenge. Ben smiles at him, eyes still sad.

“We’re not monsters, Klaus.” The tone of his voice is light, as if he’s making a joke that Klaus doesn’t understand. Diego rolls his eyes from where he’s picking up a rifle and examining it, as if it could destroy Translucent’s diamond skin.

The man himself pipes up about that, “That gun isn’t going to work. I’m fucking indestructible.”

“Shut up!” Both Ben and Diego glare at him and he does, with a sick grin on his face and amusement in his eyes. It’s clear he doesn’t think they’re going to succeed. And as much as Klaus despises that condescending look, he hates the idea of having to kill someone even more. It would be just like what happened to Dave and he couldn’t stand the thought of subjecting someone else to that.

Besides him, Diego asks Ben if he’d be willing to use his powers on Translucent. Ben’s cheeks are tinted slightly green at the prospect, though Klaus can’t tell if it’s from the smell or the idea of using his ‘scary’ powers on Translucent.

“I don’t want to test the Horror against that,” he says, running a hand across his stomach absently, “It would be so bad.. I don’t want to even think about it.”

Klaus also votes on not doing that, since a name like  _ The Horror  _ has too many implications to not be the absolute worst. Diego takes one look at Ben’s face and also joins them on voting on not using the Horror, despite the fear etched on Translucent’s face when he heard the name.

When he realized they weren't willing to kill him with that, his ego rose to the surface again.

“My skin’s like a shell,” He gloats from the cage he’s been set in, “It protects me absolutely.”

They fall silent, unable to come up with any sort of retort or anything to his words, since they know that he’s telling the truth. Then Ben gasps with a realization and tugs Klaus out of the room, followed by Diego. 

As soon as they’re outside, Ben speaks, hands waving as he explains, “Translucent’s skin is like a shell, right?”

“Yea, genius,” Klaus drawls sarcastically, “He literally just said that.”

Diego snaps his fingers suddenly, catching onto whatever thread Ben’s dangling for them, “If it’s like a shell.. Then the inside is vulnerable.”

“The what?” Klaus stammers, not following as Diego rushed back inside the room, grabbing supplies as Ben and Klaus watch. 

When he’s done, it’s a small thing, barely bigger than a finger, but it’s all they need. Translucent watches them from his cage, fear back on his face, “What’s that thing for?”

“You’ll see,” Diego grins at him, lifting the device to show him, “Ben, knock him out.”

* * *

When Translucent comes too, the three of them are still there, calmly leaning against the moldy, gross kitchen counters. They each have varying degrees of amazement on their faces, some more disgusted than others. Translucent looks between them, back and forth, trying to figure out the difference from the last time he saw them

Then he notices the device is gone.

“Where..” He asks as one of them speaks, “Funny you should ask..”

Translucent panics, glancing around him to try and spot the device, looming and small When he can’t identify it, he turns his gaze back to his kidnappers, “Where did you put it?”

“Dude,” says one, the guy in the stupid hoodie, “We put it inside you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have seen the Boys..
> 
> I wanted to include the Cherry Bomb scene after a bit of deliberation..
> 
> I'm so glad I did, I love that scene.


	4. cherry bomb!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh....
> 
> Ass Bomb...
> 
> Kevin...
> 
> Eudora...
> 
> Five...
> 
> The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting for 1 MILLION YEARS TO WRITE THE CHERRY BOMB SCENE.
> 
> I LOVE THAT SCENE.
> 
> Also Eudora Patch is here cause she's a queen and we stan.
> 
> I wrote this chapter in one day and it shows.

Klaus stands off to the side, watching Ben fiddle with a small controller. His new apparent ‘partner in crime’ is sticking his tongue out with the effort. On the other side of the table, Diego hummed a small jaunty tone to himself and flipped a knife over and over, each time with a small clink. 

Klaus is watching some of the ghosts that have floated into the room at this point, most of them cursing at the door where they’ve left Translucent. Every time a new one sails through, his heart leaps with the hope that one of them could be Dave, that he didn’t need to be here with two strangers that are hellbent on revenge for reasons he couldn't possibly understand. But every time, he’s slapped down with the crushing disappointment of reality.

Dave’s gone.

And there’s not much he can do about it now, is there?

He gets up to go outside. 

Neither of them stop him, too busy in their own heads. For once Klaus is grateful that they’re both leaving him alone. 

He finds himself outside the Chuck E Cheese’s, staring the stupid mouse cartoon in the face as it welcome him into it’s rundown doors. His phone buzzes in his pocket, but he doesn’t feel the need to check it. He already knows what it’s going to say, texts from his boss and acquaintances (he doesn’t have friends), begging him to come home or come clean. 

His face is plastered everywhere at this point. 

It’s been about a week since Reginald Hargreeves has passed away on the 14th. It’s March 21st as he stands outside, contemplating just picking up the phone and giving in to the pressure of the media storm and the search of the superheroes at Vought. He’s utterly exhausted, has been since Dave left him all alone in the world and just wants somewhere warm to sleep.

Before he knows what he’s doing, he punches the face of Chuck E Cheese as hard as he can, anger and fear of his situation leaking out of him. As the tears he’s been holding back in front of Ben and Diego finally drip down his cheeks, the sky crackles open and rain begins to fall.

It’s honestly the perfect set-up to Klaus’ breakdown and he laughs wildly, pulling his fist away from the concrete and watching the blood turn to liquid in his fist.

It’s inevitable that this would happen, but Klaus didn’t think it would be this soon. He thought he’d be able to hold it together until this had passed, until he could finally lay his heart to rest besides Dave and mourn properly since he’s been caught in the whirlwind that is Diego since Dave had been smashed into a pulp by a reckless Supe.

A hand falls onto his shoulder and Klaus flips out, trying to wrench the hand off him before he recognizes Ben.

“Ben?” he whispers, voice strained and weak. 

He has gotten to know Ben pretty well over the course of the week or so they’ve spent together and he can’t say its a surprise that Ben cared enough to follow him out here. He might veil everything behind sarcasm and dumb science puns (His current shirt says “I was reading a book on helium and couldn’t put it down”), but Klaus can tell he genuinely does care.

Ben lifts him off the floor, “Let’s go inside Klaus.”

“I can’t,” Klaus shakes his head rapidly, “I don’t want to.”

“Do you want to be arrested?” Ben growls back, his voice reverbing in Klaus’s head, this time pulling harder to rouse Klaus enough to get onto his feet, “We all will if you stay out here. You need to get your ass back inside, before Diego actually pulls his hair out with worry.”

“He would?” mumbles Klaus, leaning against Ben as the latter gently coaxes him inside the ratty restaurant. Ben nods to himself, brushing some of Klaus’s wet curls out of his face.

“Diego’s an old butthead, but he does care for people, even if he acts like an emotionally stunted jackass,” Ben smiles, the smile lines on his cheeks creasing. Klaus gets the feeling he used to smile a lot a long time ago. He wonders when that stopped.

“What happened?” spits out Klaus, finally willing himself to ask the question that’s been haunting him ever since he met the two of them, “Between you two.. And Grace?”

Ben flinches when he mentions Grace, but pursues his lips as though he’s thinking about answering. There’s a painful sadness in his dark eyes that Klaus knows is familiar, but can’t exactly place it. Eventually, his hand falls off of Klaus’ shoulder.

“I can’t tell you everything, Diego wouldn’t want me too,” Ben mutters, adjusting himself so he’s sitting on the floor, “But, Grace took care of me and him when we were younger. She was like a mother to us.” He pauses and looks away from Klaus towards where Diego is, “She didn’t have her own kids but she didn’t want them. We were enough for her.”

Klaus places a comforting hand on top of Ben’s and tries to be supportive as Ben continues on, “Eventually, she did have kids. Two of them. Twins. We were older then, and she asked us to come by to meet them. But when we got there.” He breaks off with a shuddering breath and his head falls forward, almost into Klaus’ lap, “It was too late.”

Klaus leans forward a bit, “Too late for what?”

Ben shakes his head to himself more than anyone, “Her kids were Supes. You know how sought after Supes are, that’s why they’re often born in special hospitals. She was attacked by a group of Supe traffickers after she gave birth at home.”

Klaus gasps, mostly to himself and tries to imagine it. A mother, trying to defend her home against a mob of people, so desperate for cash that they’d sell two newborn babies. He can see it in his mind’s eye and it’s almost too horrific to think about. Ben exhales shakily and presses on, “By the time we got there, she was dead and the babies were gone. It was the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen.”

Klaus can imagine.

“That’s not all,” Ben whispers, standing up to get ready to head back towards where they’re keeping Translucent, “Eventually, Diego and I figured out. That Grace’s twins had been sold to Vought.”

Klaus’ heart stops. 

Sold.

To.

Vought.

“So that’s why.”

“Yea,” Ben says, distantly looking at where Diego’s still fiddling with a knife, “That’s why. If Diego’s found one of them…” 

He doesn’t finish his thought, but he doesn’t need to. Klaus slides his hand into Ben’s and squeezes in sympathy. 

Ben smiles again.

* * *

They have another PR appearance today. They've had about three or four during the past two days and Vanya is starting to get sick of them. 

She’s been spending all her time with Allison and Luther, avoiding both the Handler and the other Supes, since they make her so uncomfortable. Allison has been as warm as ever when it comes to this, using her power to get the others to back off and even Luther has been of some help, quietly blocking the other superheroes from seeing her.

He’s so big that it almost always works.

Vanya’s so grateful to the both of them that she really doesn’t know how to thank them for everything they’ve done. It’s hard to come up with gifts for two people who seem to have everything. 

Her mind keeps going back to Klaus. 

Allison and Luther have been really great about the whole thing, they haven't pushed her at all to talk about Klaus or his interaction with her on the bench after her absolute mental breakdown on her second day as a member of the Seven. 

He’d seemed so nice that it was hard to pin him down as a murderer. 

In fact, it’d seemed almost impossible. 

So she had brought it up to Allison and Luther, wondering if they’d even take her seriously since she’s so new at this job, but surprisingly, they’d both believed her. Luther even more so than Allison.

_ Dad might’ve been old, but he’s not that old,  _ He’d said to her when she first asked him about it,  _ He wouldn’t just suddenly die. I believe you. The Handler had something to do with it.  _

It was even more obvious that the Handler had something to do with it now that she’s been in charge of Vought for an entire week. Honestly, she’s surprised that the media hasn’t picked up on it yet, since it’s the craziest shift she’d ever seen in any major companies’ MO ever.

Suddenly, she’s been pushed to the forefront of the Seven, advertised as ‘better than Spaceboy,’ ‘faster than A-Train’ and ‘sexier than Rumor.’ She’s not entirely sure where all of these had come from, especially since she’s nothing like the Handler’s advertising her as, but she absolutely  _ fucking hates it. _

Suddenly, everyone wants a piece of her. 

She’s been offered so many deals in the past couple of days that she can’t even remember where half of them start and half of them end.The pressure is mounting on her shoulders and all she can think about is that this is some sick plan from the Handler to get her off of the greatest superhero team on Earth and her dream job since she was small. 

Every time she sees the Handler in the halls, she smiles that sick, red smile and asks how she’s faring.

Vanya has taken to ignoring her. 

Allison’s brushing some of her hair out of her face right now and Vanya can’t help but notice just how concerned Allison is for her. Her eyes twinkle with concern and her hair is more stringy than Vanya recalls it being on their first day spending time together.

However, Vanya also knows she’s concerned for Translucent too, despite his general creepiness.

It’s been a week since anyone has seen him, and although the lie to the press is that he’s on a secret mission that only the Handler knows, the fear of one of the Seven begin killed is starting to become a real possibility.

There’s no way, right?

She turns towards the door, marring the cameras from her view with Allison at her side and sighs.

Only time will tell.

* * *

Klaus is alone right now. 

Diego has gone off, to go “do FBI” things and Ben’s going to get Panda Express. (He refuses to get Panera Bread). Klaus is stuck here, because he’s the one whose face is on every billboard and has a 35,000 dollar warrant out for his arrest. He supposes that’s fair of them to not let him leave, but he does wish that he could take a breath of fresh air, since the only thing he’s been smelling for the past few days was the rotten cheese and moldy bread of the pizzeria.

It’s boring here even with the ghosts. They don’t really make for good conversation. 

A timer goes off nearby.

The water timer to be specific, so Klaus rouses himself from his restless slumber and prepares Translucent a cup of water. It’s a simple courtesy at this point to give Translucent all the necessities of life, since they are technically keeping him hostage.

He steps into the room where they are keeping Translucent with reluctance and sets the water in front of the cage, waiting. 

It’s fascinating to watch Translucent drink the water, since Klaus can’t actually see him do it, so the plastic water cup just appears to float and drain itself of liquid into an unknown source. Klaus finds himself staring.

The water cup is finished by the time Klaus can ask their hostage about the things he really wants to ask.

“I wanted to ask you about A-Train,” he manages as the cup is set back on the ground, “When he- uh- killed that guy the other day. I want to know why. Where was he going? Who was he going to?” 

It’s hard talking about Dave so flippantly and he feels his stomach spiral at the thought.

“Why do you want to know?” Translucent says instead, curiosity in his tone. “Did you know him?”

“He was my boyfriend,” Klaus says, trying to hide his fury. Translucent only groans, “Is that what this is all about? You kidnapped me for that?”

“You were following us,” defends Klaus.

“Because you killed my boss,” Translucent says cooly, “In revenge for you boyfriend. Christ, it all makes sense now.”

Klaus leans against the doorframe, “I didn’t kill Reginald. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?” says Translucent and  _ wow,  _ it’s weird talking to an invisible guy.

“Yep,” Klaus says with a level voice. It’s the levelest his tone has been since well, Dave, “You and A-Train are friends. I assume he told you something.”

Translucent only scoffs, “ He doesn’t tell me shit.”

Klaus leans a bit forward so he’s close to wherever Translucent’s face is, “Those two guys out there are going to kill you. If you tell me, maybe I can convince them otherwise.”

A hint of amusement is now in Translucent’s tone, “Because they’ll listen to you. You’re definitely the boss around here.”

Klaus stands up with a sigh, “Guess you don’t want to talk then.” He makes to leave the room, using the tact he’s seen on television a lot to try and get the guy to crack. To his surprise, it actually works.

“Wait.. wait.”

Klaus turns back around. Translucent has appeared in all his glory in the cage, legs crossed over each other and a smile playing on his lips, “My superpower isn’t just being invisible. I can see people when they think they’re alone. I can read them. I can read you too.”

Klaus smiles, dangerous and low, “Cause you’ve known me for so long, haven’t you?”

“You’re scared.” Translucent says with a smile just as deadly, “ You’re trying to seem as tough as those two but you’re terrified. Because you’re in over your head with this whole revenge business and you  _ know  _ it. I mean, I get it. Your boyfriend died and we all do some stupid shit when we’re in love.”

Translucent smiles with ease as if he’s not the one trapped in a cage and Klaus is, “ You want to run home screaming, don’t you. Far away from all this shit. You should run for the hills, before those two drag you down with them.”

Translucent may be able to read people, Klaus thinks to himself, but he can only see what’s transparent, as stupid as that may sound. 

He chuckles, low and dark, “You think I’m some sort of delicate flower?” Translucent blinks at him, startled. 

“You think I don’t wake up with the dead screaming in my ears? You think I couldn’t stand death or violence? Newsflash, asshole. I live with the dead. I was a junkie for most of my life. You think you’ve seen it all, up on your high and mighty tower? I’ve seen worse.” Klaus grins down at the man on the floor, “I’ve been worse.”

Translucent audibly gulps when Klaus pulls out the remote control that would denote the bomb in Translucent’s…. well .

“I will do it again, if I have to,” snarls Klaus, feeling the ghosts that followed Translucent howling around him, “Especially if you push me.”

The flash of fear in Translucent’s face is gone before Klaus even registers it’s there, “ I’ve got invulnerable skin.” He says, growing more strong as he speaks, “I’m a fucking superhero. We fight terrorism and gangs in our sleep. You think one guy with a bomb is going to make me shit my pants?” 

He’s bluffing and Klaus knows he is, by the slight flash of panic in his eyes. Klaus raises his thumb over the button as a threat but Translucent doesn’t flinch, pressing on, “We save the world daily. I’ve stood in front of thousands of screaming fans. And now I’m asking you.”

Translucent smiles, thin and sharp, “Who are you?”

Klaus twitches sharply as Translucent knows he’s hit something, so he narrows in, like a shark, “You're nothing but a sack of blood and meat. The others will find me and when they do, they're going to kill you. Because that’s who we are. You’re not the hero. And I’m not the one trapped.”

Klaus squints at him, fingers dancing over the controls, “The cage around you says otherwise.”

Translucent doesn’t seems cowed, in fact he grins. 

“You should really be paying more attention.”

Klaus’ face pales just as the guy turns invisible again and the door to the cage slides open. He stumbles backwards, trying to get the door closed before Translucent can escape. But it’s too late as Klaus falls on his ass as the door is wrenched open and the Invisible Man saunters out. 

He becomes visible simply to gloat, “Look at you down there, Kneeling before a god. It suits you.”

Klaus pushes himself backwards a bit and raises the controller to point directly at Translucent, but when he clicks the button, nothing happens. 

Translucent’s wide grin gets wider, “It doesn’t fucking work. Looks like your friends are dumber than you think.”

Klaus panics, slamming his hand over and over on the button to try and get the bomb to power on. Nothing happens and Translucent laughs, a deep chuckle in his chest. 

“I told you, didn’t I? You’re not the fucking hero,” He leans down and reaches for Klaus, “And now you’re under arrest.”

In one last desperate attempt, Klaus smashes his hand onto the button.

Click.

Boom.

Klaus is stunned and on the floor when the bomb goes off, with a siren shrieking noise that he knows will echo in his ears for years after The second thing he registers as the awfully familiar feeling of chunks of flesh on his face and the dribbling of blood down his cheeks. 

When he opens his eyes, Translucent is gone and in his place is a smatter of blood on the floor.

He barely registers the door opening behind him and the horrified gasp before someone is pulling him away from the wreckage.

“We need to go,” says the thin voice of Ben, “Right now.”

Klaus nods numbly, using one hand to wipe the blood off his face.

* * *

Vanya and the Deep.

The Deep and Vanya.

Why is he here again?

Right, because it’s a ‘water crime’ and it’ll look good for her publicity, as the Handler says. Her face deepens it’s grumpy expression. She doesn’t want to work with the motherfucking Deep at all right now. He’s a bit of… a fucking asshole, who doesn’t deserve her respect or help with anything.

“Fuck me running, I swear to God,” The Deep, Kevin, says from besides her with the biggest eye roll she’s ever seen, “Is my only use water crimes?”

Vanya puffs her cheeks as a response, internally agreeing with him about her own problems. Is her only use increasing her own status? Is all she’s good for is media service and partnerships with people who’ve treated her like dirt?

“Idiots, I could be so much more than this,” Kevin snarls with bitterness, “Like you, Viola!”

She doesn’t react to the pet name, instead crossing her arms over her chest and staring pointedly out to sea. Kevin only snorts from besides her, “You’re no fun.”

“We have a job to do,” She reminds him. 

Kevin gets a small bit closer to her, “We could always postpone it.”

The sound of the waves lapping against the pier is all she needs, her stomach reaches out and scoops the sound into her body and nutures it, before she lifts a hand and shoots out the blinding white light that she’s used to. Kevin yelps loudly and steps away from her, shaking his hands in surrender. 

She exhales with a sharp whistle, letting the light release out of her mouth rather than in Kevin’s face.

“What’s your problem?” He asks her, “You’ve had that pissy look on your face all night. If I were you, I’d be celebrating. The Handler is making sure everyone loves you. I bet they’re offering you so many things right now.”

Her lips only twitch in irritation and she still refuses to look at him. Kevin rolls his eyes, “All I'm saying is you have it easy, Viola. I got so much shit for my first year or so. You’re taking the simple way.” His voice is laced with bitterness, “Be thankful for it.”

“It’s fucking demeaning,” She spits, finally, “I’m sold as this pure farmer girl that doesn’t know shit. Just because I’m hopeful doesn’t mean I’m naive.”

“And just because I have ocean powers doesn’t mean that’s all I can do,” he replies carefully, “But that’s how this business works. You’ll get used to it.”

She finally breaks her staring contest with the sea to look at him, “That was almost decent of you, Kevin.”

He smirks at her with his usual swagger, “Don’t get used to it, Vanya.”

Their moment of bonding is interrupted by the loud boom of an explosion about a mile or so away, both of them turn around, startled. 

“Well,” Vanya says to Kevin as he watches the plume of smoke rising from the skyline, “Here’s your chance to prove yourself, Kevin.”

He rolls his eyes, “Whatever.”

* * *

It’s been a long day at work and honestly, the only thing FBI Deputy Director, Eudora Patch, wanted to do is collapse on her couch and watch Dynasty. She’s gotten back to her house at almost 1 am and she’s about ready to binge watch the next four episodes when some floorboards in her house creak and she whips around, only to see Diego waiting for her. 

“Diego Reynolds,” She shouts at him, throwing up her arms in exasperation, “What did I say about sneaking into my house?”

“Don’t do it unless it’s an emergency,” He quotes cheekily as she moves around him to get at the fridge,”But this is an emergency.”

“Your last emergency involved me babysitting Five while you went and fought some bank robbers because you insisted Nubian Prince was shit at his job,” She growls at him, “I assume you have someone with him now.”

Diego shakes his head, “Kid’s self-sufficient enough to not need one anymore.”

“He threatened to murder you if you got him another one, didn’t he?” She replies flatly. She knows both of them too well at this point to believe a word that comes out of Diego’s mouth. From the pinch of his mouth, it appears she’s hit the mark.

She walks around him to her couch, “What are you here for?”

“I need some of your files, Miss Deputy Director,” he says, moving to sit next to her, “Some Supe ones. Big Shot. Game Out. Translucent, if you have him.”

“Why?” She asks him, dryly, “Why Translucent?”

He shrugs, not responding. Eudora knows him too well at this point to frame that as a coincidence, “What did you do?”

“Nothing special,” he winks at her. She almost smacks him for his utter stupidity, “So you just broke into my house in the middle of the night for  _ nothing special? _ ”

“Yea,” he replies, eyes flitting guiltily to the side, “Nothing special.”

Her eyes go dark, “Please tell me that Translucent’s disappearance and this spontaneous house break-in aren’t connected.”

His silence tells her all she needs to know. Her heart breaks instantly, “Don’t tell me you got Five involved.” 

“No, no, no, no,” he denies smoothly, “I got Ben involved instead.”

That’s fine, Eudora thinks to herself, As long as he’s not alone.

“I need the files,” he says deflecting. Eudora shakes her head with a growl, “No, absolutely not.”

“Why not?” he asks like some sort of begging child.

Eudora eats a bite of her ice cream, “You made it suicide to go after Vought Supes. I can’t just dig up those files without everyone and their mother knowing. Especially Translucent’s. Why are you doing this anyways? I thought after Five, you said.”

He dismisses her with a wave of his hand, “Yea. I know what I said, but an opportunity struck.”

She raises an eyebrow just as his phone buzzes. She crosses her arms over her body as he reads the message, face getting paler and paler before he finally types something frantically back.

“What’s going on?” She asks him, but he brushes her aside, “Nothing, It’s all going according to plan. I’ll see you later, Eudora.” He says this while spinning on his heel and booking it out the door. She watches him go, amused and also confused.

“Don’t call me Eudora!” She calls after him, but the shitty car he’s driving in already has it’s headlights on and frankly, she’s too lazy to care.

Besides she has to finish Season 2 before Jessica spoils it for her tomorrow.

“Dumbass,” she grumbles, turning on her TV, “Didn’t even get the files.”

* * *

When Vanya and Kevin run up to a rundown Chuck E Cheese’s she almost bursts into laughter. It’s a motherfucking Chuck E Cheese’s, what could possibly happen in here? 

However when Kevin finally pries the door open, she’s proven dead wrong by the smell of flesh and mold cheese, stinging her nose and making her eyes water. Besides her, Kevin lets out a small choking noise at the smell and waves his hand in front of his face as if that will help them with the putrid smell.

“What the fuck is this?” Kevin says when he’s able to get words out and frankly she agrees.

Who would use this place as a hideout? It’s really gross in here.

The two of them, an unlikely team, stake out the hallways with the determination of two Supes ready for this to be over.

They’re not ready for what they will see in the kitchen. 

“Oh my god,” breathes Vanya, her powers fading away into numb shock when she spots the entire kitchen covered in blood. Kevin lowers his guard too, looking up at the ceiling where the violence has spread as well, “What the fuck?”

The two of them, although shook by this horrific turn of events are still superheroes, so they begin their investigation, scouring the kitchen for any clues as to how this could have happened.Pretty quickly, they deduce that whoever had done this had blown someone up, due to the massive amount of debris and the smoke plume. It was also done, fairly recently, considering the smell of smoke is still in the air.

“What kind of villain would do this?” asks Vanya into the stillness, “What kind of..”

“I think I know,” says Kevin, causing Vanya to turn abruptly around. He’s holding up something glimmery and clear with a face of utter repulsion. Vanya tilts her head curiously, “What is that?”

Kevin swallows and then says, “Translucent’s skin.”

At that moment, Vanya dry retches into her mouth and has to double over to stop herself from losing her lunch. The smell of death now has a more prominent effect on her now that she knows just who died.

“So much for that guy,” Kevin says coldly, making Vanya gape at him, “What the fuck is wrong with you? A member of the Seven is  _ dead?” _

Kevin shakes his head, “Not Translucent. The guy who did this.”

Vanya blinks uncomprehendingly.

“They’re fucking dead.”

* * *

Ben pulls up to the warehouse that Diego had sent them the address of in silence, cautiously glancing at Klaus who’s staring out the window unseeing.

“You good?” asks Ben, pulling the car into park. Klaus can only shake his head numbly and stare at nothingness. Ben grumbles to himself and places a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, “We need to get you inside. Diego says that there’s a shower and bed and warm clothes that you can change into.”

“Ok,” Klaus whispers numbly, untangling himself from the seat belt. Ben has to get out of the drivers’ seat and help Klaus stumble to the door of the warehouse. With Klaus looking like a drowned puppy and hanging off of Ben’s body, he knocks on the door with his free hand and waits.

There’s a faint popping noise from behind the door and then a couple of clicks that sound like locks unlocking and then the door opens, revealing a kid standing there.

He can’t be more than thirteen, but the pissy expression on his face makes him appear to be a lot older. Combined with his tired green eyes that are haunted and hollow, he looks almost adult if he wasn’t so small. His hair is swept to the side and messy and he’s in a thick hoodie and sweatpants. He cocks an eyebrow at the gobsmacked Ben and his practically dying companion.

“Diego said you were coming,” He says, pointing with one of his hands towards a back corner of the warehouse, “The showers’s that way.” With that he turns on his heels and lumbers back towards the couch in the corner. Ben can only watch, flabbergasted as the kid goes back to whatever he’s doing.

He barely feels Klaus get off him and head to the showers, instead staring after the kid, who glances back at him, “Are you just going to stand there?”

“NO!” Ben shouts suddenly, immediately bounding over to the kid, who’s now curled up on the couch with a mug in his hands. He sits down next to him,  _ Grace’s kid, one of Grace’s kids,  _ and tries to look friendly.

“I’m Ben,” He says, wondering exactly how he was going to react to that. If the kid had heard his name before, he gave no indication, “Five.”

Five, Ben thinks, what an odd name, but he doesn’t comment on it, since he’s not sure if Five would be offended or not. He guesses right, Five seems to wait for him to ask something before a slight flash of relief crosses his features and he takes a sip of his drink.

“I knew your mom, you know,” he blurts out to Five, who stops mid-drink to stare. His eyes glimmer with curiosity and  _ he looks like Grace so much _ ** _, It hurts._ **

Five scoffs, “So did Diego, you’re not special.” The curiosity has shut down to give way to cold contemplation. Ben knows what that is, he sees it every time he looks in the mirror.

“Right,” He says, ignoring Five’s bluntness, “But.. Diego never told me that he found you.”

Five chews his lip and sets the drink down, before looking up at him, “He didn’t?”

“No,” breathes Ben, because  _ fuck,  _ “I’ve always wanted to meet you.” His hand twitches with the wish to touch Five, but he’s not sure how he’s going to react to that, especially if everything Diego’s implied is true. Five nervously edges away, scratching at his forearm. Ben’s eyes catch on a dark spot on his arm and he can’t help but stare at it.

It’s a fucking brand.

Oh, Ben’s going to  _ kill  _ Vought.

“We’ll take it slow ok?” Ben backs away to give Five his space, “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to.”

Five scrunches up his nose and lets his sleeve fall down, “No, I want too. You’re more interesting than Diego is.”

Ben beams at him, “I’m aware. Speaking of Diego…”

“He’s at Patch’s house,” Five says, picking up a notebook, “He was going to get some files on Translucent but after the little... “ He licks his lips, “Accident, he’s coming here. It’s safe here.” He scribbles some numbers down on paper, Ben nods to himself, “Alright.”

The two of them sit in silence until the door swings open again, this time the locks clicking from the outside and Diego saunters in. Five and Ben both look up as he heads over to the small kitchen.

“Hey kiddo,” Diego says as he pulls some pasta out of the fridge. Five’s perpetual grumpy look deepens, “Don’t call me kiddo.”

“Sorry,” Diego’s smile is teasing as he begins to eat the cold pasta, “I forgot.”

“You asshole,” spits Five, “You didn’t forget.” 

“Sure did,” Diego shovels pasta into his mouth, “Definitely forgot.” He dodges Five’s swipe at his knees, “Anything happen while I was gone?”

Five shrugs one shoulder, “Not much.” His eyes drift towards the room where they can hear the pounding of water, “Just why are you harboring someone who killed Vought’s CEO.”

Ben opens his mouth to defend Klaus, but Diego snorts, “You don’t care about that.”

“I don’t,” agrees Five, “but I am curious.”

“He didn’t actually kill the CEO,” Ben interjects, happy to contribute, “Everyone just thinks he did.”

Five sips his drink again, “Seems legit. If everyone thought I killed the CEO of Vought then I’d take credit for it too.”

Diego rolls his eyes and Ben snickers out loud as Five takes another sip of his drink, “It’s the truth.”

“What’s the truth?” asks a meek voice from behind them as they all turn around to see Klaus standing there with wide eyes and dripping wet. Ben can’t help but feel a bit sympathetic towards him so he answers, “Just something Five said. Why don’t you get some clothes on and then we’ll figure out our next move. Ok?”

Klaus doesn’t smile like he normally would but a weight appears to be lifted off his shoulders, “Ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some explanation for Kevin. I hate him.
> 
> He's an asshole and I stand by that. What he did to Annie was NOT ok. (in the original show, he didn't do it to Vanya which is why she forgives him so easily). However he's a sympathetic asshole, so I tolerate his presence in the show, but only a bit. 
> 
> Some explanation for the Handler.
> 
> She's a lot more hands on in this series than in both shows and you'll see that next chapter when she...
> 
> well...
> 
> Let's just say Hazel and Cha-Cha are going to be appearing soon.


End file.
